Olympic smiles must show six teeth
With China the host of this year’s Olympic games, there has been a fair amount of controversy due to some of that country’s policies. That controversy was in the news last week as there were protests surrounding the Olympic torch ceremony.
However, China is working hard to portray a squeaky clean image (a process that is made easier because the government controls all the news agencies).
As much as the media is blamed for being the root of all evil in America, just imagine how things would be if our government controlled what was printed and broadcast. I can only imagine what I might hear on the 5 p.m. news:
‘This just in ‘ President George W. Bush, enjoying tremendous popularity, just set a new record for presidential approval ratings. According to a recent survey, over 97 percent of Americans approve of the job Mr. Bush is doing. Americans also say the decision to invade Iraq was the best move the United States has ever made, and they indicated overall satisfaction with soaring gasoline prices.’
OK, so I’m getting a little silly. But in getting back to my point about China, the country is really trying to convey a positive image and it has even formed a training committee to give its citizens lessons on how to act when the rest of the world is watching.
For Chinese ladies with aspirations of being Olympic hostesses, the requirements are rigorous. For starters, they are being trained on how to hold a continuous smile that shows at least six to eight teeth. Women who are having trouble attaining this wide of a smile are being instructed to place chopsticks sideways in their mouth to get practice.
For anyone who plans to make the trip to China to see the Olympics, here’s a quick lesson on the language:
Chinese in 5 Minutes
(Practice out loud)
1. That’s not right ‘ Sum Ting Wong
2. See me ASAP ‘ Kum Hia
3. Small horse ‘ Tai Ni Po Ni
4. Did you go to the beach? ‘ Wai Yu So Tan
5. You need a face lift ‘ Chin Tu Fat
6. This is a tow away zone ‘ No Pah King
7. You smell ‘ Yu Stink Ki
Those are just a few basic phrases to get you started. I can’t guarantee you will be understood if you use them.
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