Let’s take a look into the sports future
Maybe I’m just getting old, but it seems like these ‘end of the year’ editions are coming more and more frequently.
It feels like just a few weeks since your friendly neighborhood sports columnist last gazed into the official Southern Standard crystal ball and made his predictions for 2007. But after checking in the archives, it has, in fact, been an entire 12 months.
That checking, by the way, also showed that not one of last year’s predictions came true. Nevertheless, we’ll give it another try, and see what the future may hold for the local sports community.
(Disclaimer: The author of this piece has no control over the predictions to follow, as they are made during a trance-like state brought on by watching replays of the first halves of fifth- and sixth-grade basketball games. Don’t try this at home.)
‘ Relaxed attitudes toward cheating will impact sports on every level.
From Barry Bonds, to the New England Patriots’ ‘Spy-gate,’ to NASCAR and the Olympics, sports fans will hear so much about rule-breakers that it will begin to go virtually unpunished.
As a result, the Pioneer baseball team will jump out to an undefeated record in District 7-AAA play, behind the strong left arm of new starting pitcher Jamie Walker, Matt Cotten will become the league’s top scorer on the basketball court, and the WCHS football team will be led onto the field by incoming ‘freshmen’ Albert Haynesworth and LenDale White.
‘ Summer baseball and softball leagues in McMinnville will completely bow to the pressure of finishing their seasons early.
Rather than wrapping things up by July 4, as has been the recent trend, league play in 2008 will begin April 1, and wrap up with a one-day, single-elimination tournament on April 14.
Half the leagues’ teams will still have to forfeit games, however, due to family vacations wiping out half their lineup.
‘ The Pioneer boys’ soccer team, who got into an on-field scuffle with Livingston Academy during their Senior Night game last spring, will prepare for the upcoming season in a special way in early 2008.
Rather than attending team soccer camp, to work alongside other school teams on their ball-handling, shooting and defensive skills, the Pioneers will alternate their preseason training between ‘Sugar’ Ray Leonard’s boxing camp and mixed martial arts classes.
By the season’s end, the new shelter constructed beside the WCHS home field will have its roof re-shingled with all of the yellow and red cards handed out.
‘ County basketball action will feature, in both boys’ and girls’ play: An undefeated team, a winless team, and three teams who win about half their games. (Note, the preceding prediction can be used for 2008, and every year to follow).
‘ The city government will approve an indoor pool, and construction will begin in early spring.
Sports editor Rob Nunley will be arrested for attempted sabotage, however, after he is caught lurking around the construction site. As he is dragged away from the courthouse, a nearly incoherent Nunley will continuously mumble, ‘no high-school swim team… no high-school swim team…’
‘ New sports editor Dale Stubblefield, promoted after Nunley is sent to the looney bin, happily covers all home swim mets.