Sister needs to stay neutral in marital relationship
Dear Annie: My sister, “Jenny,” and her husband have been married 10 years and have two children. For nine of those years, Jenny has been miserable. The two of them fight constantly, and normal conversations turn into disagreements. They are so loud the neighbors can hear them.
Jenny and her husband never do anything as a couple, including vacations, dinner out, etc. He has never complimented Jenny, never told her she looked nice or cooked a good meal. My sister, after years of complaining about it, finally told him she wants a divorce, but her confidence is so low, she doesn’t have the courage to actually leave him. There is always some excuse. Twice she went to counseling, but hasn’t gone back. She sounds and looks depressed, and the kids are beginning to notice that something is wrong. Her counselor suggested her husband come in to talk, but he refuses. He sees nothing wrong with the marriage.
I want Jenny to go back to counseling. She’s beautiful, smart and talented ‘ something her husband doesn’t appreciate. I’m hoping she will see this letter in your column. Please, Annie, tell her to go back to counseling. She deserves to be happy. ‘ Worried Sister
Dear Sister: It’s hard to stand by and watch someone you love make choices you feel are wrong, but Jenny may have other reasons to stay in her marriage ‘ including two children whose lives will be turned upside down by a divorce. We agree if she is miserable, she should go back to her counselor and work on this. Meanwhile, try to remain neutral about the marriage while building up Jenny’s confidence by letting her know how terrific you think she is.
Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to [email protected], or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.