Winkler testifies to wearing wig, high heels

Saying she ?just wanted out? of her abusive marriage but saw no way of escape, Mary Winkler took the stand in her own defense Wednesday, telling jurors she did not mean to pull the trigger and that she still loves the man she shot in the back while he slept.

?She literally loved him to death,? said defense attorney Steve Farese during closing arguments following Winkler?s testimony.

Winkler told jurors she had asked her husband for a divorce years ago but he told her ?that would not be allowed.?

?I just wanted him to stop being mean,? Winkler said of her husband, claiming he physically, sexually, and emotionally abused her for years. ?I thought about running away but he?d just come get us.?

Winkler kept her eyes cast down for much of her time on the stand, prompting prosecutors to suggest it was rehearsed courtroom behavior. Winkler contended the abuse ranged from pinching and belt whippings, to kicking and punching ? and even death threats.

?He told me he was going to cut my brake line,? Winkler said, adding her husband would sometimes point the same shotgun at her that she used to kill him. ?He put it in my face. He told me he would cut me into a million pieces.?

Winkler said she often could not wear skirts in public because of marks left by the abuse, noting the children would also be kept home from school so bruises on their bodies would not be seen. Winkler?s 9-year-old daughter, in earlier testimony, said she did not see abuse in the home, although Winkler said the girl suffered a separated elbow while playing with her father as a child.

In the area of sexual abuse, the defense brought out a high-heel shoe, along with a wig, with Winkler telling jurors her husband made her dress up in the outfits to sexually gratify him.

?I?d just do anything to keep him happy,? Winkler said, noting she felt she could not say no given her husband?s dominating presence. She noted her husband would make her do things she didn?t want to do. ?Wear skirts or something slutty.?

Winkler said her husband would make her watch Internet porn with him ? porn which was found on the family?s computer following the murder by computer experts. However, the state would later question why Ms. Winkler had testified her husband would quickly turn off the computer screen when she would walk in to the room to cover his porn watching even though she would make him watch the movies with him.

As for the killing itself, Winkler said they were awakened that morning by their infant daughter who was crying. Winkler said she saw her husband ?suffocating? the baby by holding his fingers over her nose and mouth.

After getting the baby away from her husband, Winkler testified she went to make coffee and that was where things became hazy. She said the first thing she remembered was hearing the loud ?boom? and seeing her husband roll of the bed. She said she did not remember getting the gun from the closet or aiming it.

?I knew something terrible had happened and I knew no one would believe it was an accident,? Winkler testified, saying she took the children and started driving, ending up in Jackson, Miss., before heading to Orange Beach, Ala., the next day where they were eventually found.

Winkler said she had no plans when she left, but did have a little money since she claimed her husband had directed her, the day before, to withdraw as much as she could fearing the accounts might be frozen due to their economic problems.

On cross examination, the state suggested the problems were caused by Ms. Winkler?s illegal check kiting scheme using worthless lottery checks and that the killing came on the day her husband would find out about the check scheme. Ms. Winkler maintained her husband knew all about the checks.

While painting a picture of a nightmarish marriage, prosecutor Walt Freeland, in his closing arguments, pointed out Winkler could have always left, noting Mary herself had referred to her husband as a ?fine person? who she still loved.

?What did Matthew Winkler do to deserve the death penalty?? Freeland asked jurors in wrapping up his case Wednesday afternoon.