Predictions for the new sports year
As we close what has been a wild, wacky year in sports, let?s dust off the old Robservations crystal ball to take a look at what 2007 may have in store:
? ?Cat? Walker Day proved to be such a huge success, city officials will follow up the event with ?Cat? Walker Week, to be held just after pitchers and catchers report to spring training.
April is proclaimed ?Cat? Walker Month, to recognize the upcoming baseball season, and All-Star weekend is designated ?Cat? Walker Weekend to honor Jamie for representing the American League in the midsummer classic.
Jamie?s acquisition by the Baltimore franchise will prove to be a sparkplug for a great season, and by October the Orioles will be perched atop the AL, and will battle the Chicago Cubs in the World Series ? a matchup which will prompt one local sports editor to hit the road for Las Vegas, declaring ?I can?t lose!?
Following the Series, of course, plans for an even more elaborate celebration of Walker?s achievements will be put into motion, until city, county and state officials will finally hold a special referendum to rename Warren County ?Cat? Walker County.
Those plans will fail, however, as there are already Walker Counties in Georgia, Alabama and Texas, and the government will determine it doesn?t want anyone to be confused as to what state they?re in. However, a compromise will be reached by renaming 2008 ?Cat? Walker Year.
? The Pioneer football team will roll through Region 3-5A like Sherman rolled through Atlanta, clinching the regular-season crown and homefield advantage throughout the playoffs.
Disgruntled ?fans,? who for so long have attended games just so they can shout their displeasure from the bleachers to anyone within earshot, will suddenly have no reason to complain. There will be no coaches to gripe about, no depth chart decisions to second-guess, and not a single play will be called that causes fans to spout off about what the Pioneers ?should?ve run.?
The silence will be deafening.
? Football season will also bring the return of the Standard?s ?On the Line? contest, and for the first time ever, sports editor Rob Nunley will not finish last.
Instead, he?ll finish next to last. Followers of the pigskin-predicting panel will be so surprised by his success, that once again the silence will be deafening.
? Elementary basketball season ? which in 2006-2007 featured seven separate weeks of tournaments and classics ? will expand even more.
The regular season will be done away with altogether, with school system officials explaining their decision by saying ?half the teams didn?t want to play each other, anyway.?
Instead of having regular Monday and Thursday games, schools will instead compete in a double-elimination tournament each and every week, with first-round games starting on Monday nights and championships played on Saturdays. In all, 17 champs will be crowned on both the boys? and girls? sides.
When it?s all over, parents will still complain when their kids don?t make one of the 17 all-tourney teams.