Dad is in his birthday suit, mom in snit

Hello: I have been married for 18 years. Around year 10, my husband started going to nudist beaches and clubs. The beaches were not too bad because he only did it when he was out of state, but now he goes to a club that’s only an hour away.

I trust him and know it is not sexual, but it’s embarrassing to me. I also don’t like that he tells everyone he knows that he does this. The way I was raised, you were naked when you took a bath, or when you were married and in bed. I just don’t understand why swimming, camping and other activities — which he never enjoyed before — seem like fun to him when he is naked.

I know he could be doing really awful things other than this, but isn’t anything that causes stress in a marriage a bad thing? We also have two children, and I don’t want them to think it’s appropriate to be seen naked because I fear that a predator will take advantage of them.

I do not let him take the kids to these clubs, but they are 10 and 13, so they’re aware of Daddy’s hobby. I cannot just tell him to stop, because he would not stop and we would fight. I know this from experience.

Here’s my question: Is being naked in public normal, or just a way of being a Peeping Tom and also being peeped at? I think it’s the latter.

— Not Naked and Fine That Way

Dear Not: Early in my newspaper career, I covered the “Miss Nude Indiana” contest, held in a nudist colony. (I kept my clothes on.) To my great astonishment, I learned there are people who believe wholeheartedly in nudity as something healthy and are not getting their jollies from looking around.

Even though I tried to maintain eye contact with everyone at all times, I can tell you that many of the birthday suits are nothing anyone would wish to look at. Trust me, these people were not advertising.

My understanding of nudist activities is that everything is studiously on the up and up. If you feel your husband is not using his nude outings as, pardon the expression, a cover for sexual explorations, just grin and, well . . . bear it.

— Margo, revealingly

Dear Margo: As the mother of a 15-year-old girl who has already battled an eating disorder, I am at a loss as to what to do or say about her so-called “role models,” many of whom are models. My daughter reads the fashion magazines as though they were bibles for living.

What are your thoughts on this subject, and do you have any suggestions about how I might be able to redirect her interests?

— Nancy

Dear Nan: Being an old bag, I can name two models off the top of my head: Naomi Campbell and Kate Moss. One has an anger management problem, to indulge in understatement, and is continually being sued by assistants for assault. The other is a girl who looks, to me, like a malnourished street person who is also not my idea of good-looking. But more than that, she has broken the law when it comes to illegal substances and keeps returning to a guy who is clearly a junkie.

You might suggest to your daughter that she set her sights a little higher than worshipping human clothes racks whose limited shelf life is wholly dependent on aging. If she’s mad for clothes, encourage her to look into fashion design or retailing. My guess is that she’ll outgrow her worshipful fascination.

— Margo, purposefully