Insurance policy pays for alien abduction

In nearly 20 years of paying for car insurance, I never had to make a claim until about six months ago when a deer decided it would like to leap in front of my Blazer. If that deer were still alive today, it would likely admit that wasn?t such a wise idea.

I?m sure most folks are familiar with the concept of insurance. You pay, pay, pay and all the while hope you never have to collect. Insurance and burial plots are the two things we buy that we hope we never have to use. I know I wouldn?t be too crazy about buying a cheeseburger if I didn?t get to eat it.

I started thinking about insurance when I was reading about a British company that actually offers policies for people concerned about being abducted by aliens. The company, Goodfellow Rebecca Ingrams Pearson (GRIP), reports the policies are popular with some 20,000 alien abduction policies being sold.

My question is what do you have to do to collect on this policy? Do your surviving family members have to produce video footage of you being taken away by little green men? What if you just disappear. Does that count?

The British insurance company has heavily tapped what it calls the Twilight Zone market. In addition to alien abductions, you can purchase a policy that protects you should you turn into a werewolf or metamorphosize into another hideous creature.

Men worried about their masculinity can purchase what is aptly named the John Wayne Bobbitt policy.

If you live in fear that your family won?t cough up the ransom money should you be kidnapped, Lloyd?s of London offers a kidnapping policy. The price of the policy depends on who you are.

And just to prove you can buy insurance to cover absolutely EVERYTHING, three sisters in Scotland have renewed their policy through GRIP that would pay around $1.8 million in the event one of them gives birth to Jesus Christ (should he return). The $1.8 million would be used to cover the cost of raising him.

As for other news of the odd, strange and curious nature, I believe I have expressed my concerns about people operating motor vehicles while preoccupied with other tasks like talking on a cellphone or shaving. It?s with that in mind that I crown Seminole, Fla., resident Lance Kocses, 30, the king of driver distractions.

Kocses was recently cited by police for causing a $5,000 accident. What was his defense? He said he was distracted because at the time he was busy eating a bowl of Frosted Flakes. I guess long gone are the good old days when people just drove when they are behind the wheel.

A.O. Smith lands more bad news

In case you?re wondering, yes I am getting pretty tired of writing about businesses leaving town. Anyone who saw Wednesday?s newspaper is no doubt aware A.O. Smith has announced its plans to close and eliminate 160 more industrial jobs in Warren County.

For anyone keeping track (and I may be the only person who is) over the past six and a half years, this county has lost right at 3,625 manufacturing jobs. That is an unbelievable number.

The county owns the 275,000-square-foot A.O. Smith facility on Red Road so that will be another available building we can market. But if A.O. Smith takes as long to clear everything out as Carrier, it might be another year before the building is even ready for a new tenant.

New fun spot opens on the mountain

It seems like I?m driving up Harrison Ferry Mountain just about every week to track down business news. The once-desolate mountain is becoming a hot spot for development.

Atlanta residents Ellen and Tom Iamonico are continuing that trend with their new restaurant and game room called Mountain Fun Spot. Ellen and Tom work in Atlanta during the week, but they escape the big-city life on the weekends and stay in Warren County.

What I like best about Mountain Fun Spot are the future plans. As it stands now, the restaurant offers pizza, sandwiches, video games and pool. But next year Ellen hopes to really get things cranking with a miniature golf course and go-cart track. Now she?s really got my attention.

?We?re trying to take it slow and not do too much at once,? said Ellen. ?We have the restaurant going and bought the land so we can think about mini golf and go-carts for next year.?

That would certainly be a unique entertainment addition to the county and I wish Ellen well in that venture. Although I must admit my reasons for saying that are personal because when it comes to go-cart racing, I?m somewhat of a legend. I?ve been known to wreck men, women and children on my way to the finish ? and I show no remorse.

For now, Mountain Fun Spot is only open on Friday, Saturday and Sunday but plans are to eventually expand the hours. Ultimately, Ellen and Tom plan to move to Warren County on a full-time basis.

?Our goal is to be moving up here in a couple of years because it?s such a neat area,? said Ellen. ?I love the mountain and I love the people. We?ve been going to Shellsford Baptist Church and they?ve treated us like family.?

As for Ellen?s day job, I?m glad you asked. She?s a practice manager for an infectious disease center. So it might be needless to say she keeps a clean restaurant.

Mountain Fun Spot opens on Friday from 5 to 10 p.m., on Saturday from noon to 10 p.m., and on Sunday from noon to 6 p.m. Local resident Brenda Koontz is the restaurant manager. The phone number is 815-3320. The restaurant is located on Highway 8 just past Joyce?s Market on the left.

Southern Insurance finds new home

After 20 years on Main Street, Southern Insurance is ready for a new look. The locally owned company has moved to 419 N. Chancery Street in the spot probably best known as the former Coldwell Banker location.

Jerry Helton, Jay Bragg and Boyd Ramsey are the three principle owners. Other hard-working employees are Janie Adams, Virginia Nunley, Susan Atwood and Sue Adcock.

?This gives us the best ability to expand,? said Jerry of the spacious new office.

Added Boyd, ?The comments I?ve received is people love the convenience and they love the parking.?

At Southern Insurance, their motto is ?Our independence gives you choices.? Since it?s an independent company, agents can buy policies from a variety of companies. Their ability to shop around can save you money.

?Some companies do much better with a certain line of insurance than others do,? said Jerry. ?We deal with both sides of insurance, personal insurance and business and commercial insurance.?

The five major companies Southern Insurance uses for its policies are State Auto, Cincinnati, CNA, Auto Owners and Westfield.

Some folks may not know it but Southern Insurance has a rich local history. Its roots date back to 1900 with Howard Insurance.

Other agencies that make up Southern Insurance?s history are: H.B. Walker Insurance, Roach Insurance, Jimmy Roane Insurance, Anderson Insurance, Terry Insurance, Ray Moore Insurance, Carter, Wilson Hengley Insurance and First Volunteer Insurance Agency.

To contact Southern Insurance, the phone number is 473-9641.

There?s a new doctor in town and his name is Michael Andrews

It wasn?t too many years ago I remember writing a story on Dr. John Purvis when he came to town and opened Pioneer Pediatrics. My, oh my, how the practice has grown.

After the addition of Dr. Jeffrey McVey to the practice, Dr. Michael Andrews officially began seeing patients this past Monday. He brings a friendly and outgoing personality to the local medical community, which can always benefit from another quality doctor.

?The best part of the job is dealing with kids and talking with them,? said Dr. Andrews. ?I wouldn?t be a good radiologist sitting in a dark room looking at film all day.?

Dr. Andrews and his wife, Shannon, have recently moved to McMinnville and are expecting their first child in August.

?We looked at 27 houses in two days and we found what we were looking for,? said Dr. Andrews. ?We?re both happy to be here and we really like it. People have already given us more numbers to call in case we need something than the whole time we were in Michigan.?

Andrews went to college at Lipscomb and graduated from medical school in Kentucky. He did his pediatric residency in a children?s hospital in Michigan.

To reach Pioneer Pediatrics, the phone number is 815-KIDS (5437).

That?s all folks

Keep me in the loop with your business news. Give me a call at 473-2191.