Rogers could be trapped in adolescence, counselor says
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The discovery of a Web site authorities say violated a number of the conditions of her probation has landed Rogers in more trouble and generated another flurry of media attention.
Now that Rogers has once again been arrested and charged with violating her probation, people are wondering what is going on with this beautiful, but obviously troubled, young woman.
People are eager to know what drove Rogers to risk everything by ignoring the conditions of her probation, if she is in fact the person responsible for the Web site. Her situation has led some to question if she has underlying mental issues.
Local counselor Dr. Eben Gilbert, who currently works for the Alliance for Community Outreach and holds a doctorate in education with an emphasis on human motivation, has been involved in counseling for 27 years. Gilbert was principal of Taft Youth Center for years and later served as manager of treatment at the facility for incarcerated juveniles.
?We go through developmental stages, we all do, and the adolescent developmental stage is a really tough one, because that?s when we?re trying to figure out who we are, and what we?re supposed to be like as an adult,? said Gilbert. ?Some people can get stuck in the adolescent stage, either because they enjoyed it or because they feel they didn?t get to enjoy it to its fullest. They get stuck in adolescence and don?t want to become an adult, but they don?t understand this. It is more or less on a subconscious level.?
Gilbert also wanted to stress he hasn?t had a chance to talk to Rogers himself.
?What I?m telling you is strictly hypothetical,? Gilbert said. ?I don?t know Rogers. I?ve never interviewed her, and I just know what I?ve read in the papers and heard on TV.
Gilbert said he couldn?t say if this played a part in Rogers? involvement with an adolescent boy, but it could speak to the mindset of individuals who find themselves in these types of situations.
?They feel more comfortable at that stage,? Gilbert said. ?It?s like they?ve regressed back to a time where they think, ?I can succeed here. I can handle this.??
Gilbert said, even though he doesn?t condone the actions of these individuals, and legally they have to be considered pedophiles, there are some extenuating circumstances.
?Most of the individuals who get involved in this aren?t malicious,? Gilbert said. ?They?re just trying to get comfortable. They go back into that developmental stage, mentally and emotionally, where they feel more self-confident. They may do things like have romances, pass notes back and forth. They may feel like they have this great romantic ideal, like when you?re an adolescent and you fall in love for the first time.?
Gilbert said some of these individuals may not even be able to recognize what they did as being wrong.
?Another defense mechanism that can play into this is denial,? Gilbert said. ?They deny there is the existence of a problem. At some level they may understand it?s wrong for a 20-something-year-old woman to have a relationship with a 13-year-old boy, but then they rationalize and deny.
?They rationalize, just like a romantic teenager, especially a romantic teenage girl, that it would be wrong in other cases, but this is a special case, that they?re soulmates. Fate has drawn them together and it was meant to be. And after they rationalize, they deny the reality of it.
?It?s kind of like wishful thinking,? Gilbert continued. ?They think things will turn out OK because this was meant to be.?
As to why it appears Rogers decided to maintain a Web site ? despite the consequences of more jail time ? Gilbert said the desire to communicate and the need for attention can be an addiction.
?People who are addicted to substances, or something else, like gambling or some other activity, know they can?t continue that or they?re going to get into trouble, they?re going to go to jail, they?re going to go down the tubes socially and financially, but they continue to do it. It?s a dependence,? said Gilbert.
Though there seems to be somewhat of a double standard in cases with female offenders and male victims, Gilbert says there really shouldn?t be and that victims of these types of offenses can suffer significant trauma.
?They can have misunderstandings about their role in the sexual world and their role in dating, and perhaps finding a mate, and ultimately their role as a husband,? Gilbert said. ?It can cause difficulties.?
Gilbert says counseling can have a positive effect on how these problems are dealt with, both for the offender and the victim.
?If they can talk with someone who understands this and can help them work through it and sort it out, they can be OK,? Gilbert said. Though he has no idea whether Rogers or her victim are getting counseling, he feels it would be a good idea.
?I would recommend it for both of them,? he said.