Can?t a big man boogie anymore?

Suddenly, the NFL is looking more and more like the town from ?Footloose.?

Owners voted nearly unanimously on Wednesday to once again put the kibosh on players? celebrating their accomplishments. Although, in true pro sports owner fashion, they?re talking big penalties, even though there probably won?t be any.

According to the director of officiating, Mike Pereira, 15-yard unsportsmanlike conduct flags will be thrown for celebrations which involve multiple players, involve flopping around on the ground, or pretty much anything else that seems over-the-top.

Of course, before the flag is thrown, the refs have to warn the player. Which means we?ll see a lot of referees walking up to Terrell Owens and Chad Johnson, saying a few words, and then the player will hand them the ball and walk away. So it?s a new rule, but it?s also a ?no? rule.

Personally, I like a good end-zone dance. I?m fully in favor of showing off after you score a touchdown ? because, let?s face it, it?s pretty darn hard to do.

I can understand the officials getting upset if those celebrations delay the game, but isn?t there already a penalty for that? Do we need these new rules to suck even more of the fun out of the games?

I don?t think that?s it at all. You know what I really think? I think the NFL is just part of a major, nationwide conspiracy to keep big men from dancing.

Just look at this story from earlier this week in Miami, where Eagles linebacker Dhani Jones was arrested ? literally cuffed and stuffed ? for dancing in the street.

At 6-foot-1 and 240 pounds, Jones was hard to miss as he shook his groove thang outside a South Beach nightclub. A policeman asked him to stop, and to get out of the street, then cited Jones with ?failure to obey a lawful command? when he continued getting jiggy with it.

So now Jones has to make another trip to Miami from his New York home, when he should be enjoying his off-season, and go to court on this trumped-up charge.

He was in front of a nightclub, for heaven?s sake. There was in all likelihood some sort of hypnotic Latin rhythm wafting out into the street, so who are we to fault a big man for wanting to cut loose with some fresh dance steps?

Who?s running the Miami police force? John Lithgow?

(That was another ?Footloose? reference, in case you have a lack of 1980s movie knowledge.)

I wasn?t there, but I?ll bet Jones didn?t have his Eagles jersey on when he was arrested for his little street dance. So don?t think this is NFL-related. This is looking more and more like a national prejudice against big men who enjoy dancing. It?s my theory that the NFL began the trend, so it could slowly spread into mainstream culture, and then into our very own communities.

Well as a big man who isn?t above busting the occasional move, I won?t sit still for it. I won?t be told when I can, or cannot, break it down old school. And I encourage all big men to join me as I protest the Jones case, as well as the NFL?s bias against the art of the dance.

And remember, when a big man dancing is outlawed, only big outlaws will be dancing.