The sports world’s holiday wish lists
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One of our favorite traditions here at your Southern Standard is publishing children’s letters to Santa Claus. And, over the last few years, the sports department has received its own share of letters from those in the world of athletics.
We don’t know how they wind up here, but they do.
And, since Jolly Ol’ Saint Nick is – as we all know – a fervent reader of the Standard sports section, we’d like to use this space to pass along a few holiday requests from some of the sports world’s most famous – and infamous – names.
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Dear Santa,
I wanted to take a moment and thank you for the great support you give everyone at Christmas time. I know this has been a disappointing year for everyone in the family, because we started with great expectations and failed to live up to those expectations.
I sincerely apologize to you, Santa, and hope you won’t consider me a “bad” boy. I promise to re-evaluate the entire situation, and if you should see fit to continue your support, and perhaps slip a new offensive gameplan into my stocking this year, I’d be forever grateful.
Go Vols!
Phillip Fulmer
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Dear Mr. Claus,
Before we go any further, let me stress one important fact: I have never been a naughty boy – never. Can’t you see how serious I am? You’ve got to believe me on this.
Well, on second thought, I may have been a little naughty once or twice. Or three times. But it wasn’t my fault! It was Miguel Tejada! He was the one who made me naughty, and I didn’t even know about it until he’d already done it!
So believe me, Santa. I am a good boy. And I deserve a present this Christmas. Could you put a new career under my tree? I’ve kind of ruined the one I had.
Thanks,
Rafael Palmeiro
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Yo, S.C.!
I heard about your team of reindeer, man. Are they as ungrateful as my team? They’re always bringing me down, and they didn’t even throw me a party this year. In fact, they threw me off the team entirely! Can you imagine that? Me, cut from the team? I know, man. It’s unbelievable.
Anyway, back to the matter at hand, that being my Christmas list. I want: A new team, a coach and a quarterback that will do what I tell them to do, and an automatic spot in the Hall of Fame.
Is that so much to ask?
Your pal,
T.O.
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Dear Santa,
We’ve had some good times, and some bad times. I’ve tried to be a good boy all year, in fact, I’m known as one of the “nice” guys in my profession.
I don’t ask for much, but since we’re going to have a pretty good pick anyway, would it be too much trouble to have a strong-armed young quarterback available on draft day? Loyalty’s one thing, but let’s face facts. The Super Bowl was a long time ago, and some of the “Air” has gone out of “Air McNair.”
Thanks, and keep making plays.
Jeff Fisher
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Dear Santa,
This has been such a great year, what more could we possibly ask for?
OK, maybe one thing. Can we make it two in a row over the Vols next fall?
Thanks,
The Vanderbilt Commodores
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Hey Santa,
Do me one favor, man. The next time I try to go on a boat ride, jump in your sleigh, fly down here, and slap me in the back of the head – HARD.
Thanks,
Daunte Culpepper
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Dear Santa,
Thanks for the new job, and all the talent that came with it. I’m living my dream, exactly where I always wanted to live it.
But I do have one item on my Christmas wish list. Could you bring down a copy of something called the “NCAA Recruiting Rules?” Apparently this isn’t like high school, and there are policies regarding how you bring in players.
Thanks,
Rick Insell
MTSU women’s basketball coach
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Dear Santa,
What a wild year 2004 has been! I’ve loved all the news coverage, the photographers following me around, and the fans clamoring for my autograph.
But there is one last thing I’d like to have this holiday season. Could you somehow convince fans to pay a little attention to my driving? Please??
I do, in fact, drive the car. I don’t just pose next to it.
Thanks,
Danica Patrick