My Turn: Ode to Nancy Belle Vaughn

“Grief drives men to reflection, sharpens the understanding, and softens the heart.” These words from President John Adams comfort me now, as I grapple with the loss of my lovely wife, Nancy.

Ours was not a perfect marriage, due more to my shortcomings than any of hers. Still, it was a good one, producing two loved and loving sons, Tom, Jr. and Larry. Nancy was a wonderful wife and mother. She loved her family, she loved her friends, and she loved the Army.

In the course of our Army career, we moved nearly 30 times, including temporary duty stations. Nancy hated moving so much, but always excelled at it nonetheless. She had a terrific talent for turning Army “quarters,” no matter how drab or dreary, into a home for us. Often, she did this without much help from me.

Nancy was a great hostess, too. She loved to entertain our friends and colleagues, especially in the Army. She could plan and host dinners and parties, from small and intimate, to large and lively.

For example, in Hawaii, we held two New Year’s Day receptions in our home for nearly 500 Army officers, NCOs, and their spouses. Nancy planned, coordinated and carried out these functions with both grace and graciousness. She had a special knack for making all our guests feel welcome and comfortable.

Nancy was known fondly as “The Colonel’s Lady” in Hawaii. She loved that title and wore it proudly ? not as a perquisite of power, but as a badge of service. She worked hard to improve the morale, welfare and quality of life for thousands of our soldiers and their families, especially during my command tours in Hawaii.

She loved Hawaii, too: The Polynesian people, the music, the warm sunny weather, the trade winds, the blue ocean, and the profusion of plants and flowers, especially the flowers. She was an accomplished floral designer and arranger; Hawaii was her veritable flower garden.

Nancy loved her native Tennessee as well. Our long absence made her love it even more. She loved to dance to the “Tennessee Waltz.” To her, that song ranked right up there with our national anthem.

Rereading this, I know Nancy would be uncomfortable with the praise I know she richly deserves. Despite her essential goodness and her many talents, she was the most modest woman I’ve ever known. Now, she is the most missed. “Aloha Oe,” Nancy. Farewell, my love.

Thomas B. Vaughn is a professor at Motlow College and co-host of the radio show “Viewpoints,” which airs on WCPI 91.3 FM.