Dear Prudence: Don’t feel obligated to attend parties

Dear Prudence: My wife and I are friends with a number of married couples with whom we enjoy socializing. We’re all fairly young, and until two years ago, all of us were childless.

Now, three of the couples have children, and while we still enjoy socializing with them, we’ve begun to receive invitations to their children’s first and second birthday parties. There are often lots of babies or toddlers in attendance, and they have entertainment, like musicians for young children. We end up gathering with the other childless friends in a far corner of the house and coming up with excuses to leave as early as possible.

We love our friends and think their kids are adorable, but my wife and I would rather be boiled in oil than attend another of these baby birthdays. How do we bow out gracefully or encourage them not to invite us, while still remaining friends? — Married Without Children

Dear Mar: This sounds so astoundingly like a no-brainer that Prudie feels the only reason you haven’t thought of it is because it’s so obvious: Just don’t go.

Furthermore, it’s not necessary to “encourage them” not to invite you. Simply decline the invitation; be busy. It is a little surprising that people would invite childless peers to a baby birthday party, but they probably think it’s great fun. — Prudie, conventionally

Dear Prudence: My husband and I are retired and live in a condo. My husband has become overly friendly with a divorced woman who lives in a nearby condo. I am not friends with this woman.

He does all her handyman work free, hangs out with her outside and goes over to her place to see her. There is definitely flirting going on between the two of them. Once, after we’d been away for a while, he hugged and kissed her on the lips.

I have made my husband aware of the fact that I am not comfortable with his relationship with this woman, but he continues with the same behavior. Do you think this is appropriate behavior for a married man? — Frustrated

Dear Frus: Appropriate? You caught him! If most women saw their spouse hugging and kissing a neighbor on the lips after a trip, a good guess would be that the guy’s life wouldn’t be worth a plug nickel.

Prudie suggests you tell your geezer to move his handyman act into the woman’s condo because you’re kicking him out of yours. Then engage a lawyer and decide whether or not you want separate maintenance or a divorce.

Because you say you are retired, you are not kids, and the old boy is clearly either bored or crackers. In neither case should you be the victim of his brazen behavior. His shenanigans are too in-your-face, and you need no longer be a doormat. Good luck. — Prudie, appropriately