Annie’s Mailbox: Don’t be pushed into sexual relationship

Dear Annie: I am a 68-year-old widow, and I care very much for a 68-year-old divorced gentleman. We don’t want to get married because it would upset our families, and there also are financial considerations against it.

“Dennis” and I both feel a strong sexual need for each other, but his religious beliefs say it is morally wrong to have sex outside of marriage. I’m a Christian, but I personally don’t believe it is wrong, as long as our behavior is not hurting anyone.

I could do without the sex if I had his affection. However, he is incapable of showing affection without it leading to sex, so he wants us just to be good friends. I don’t think I can be just friends. I need to be held and loved. I am very unhappy, yet I think I’d be even more unhappy if I were to give up contact with him.

Is there any answer? — Lonely and Frustrated

Dear Lonely: If you push Dennis into a sexual relationship, he may feel regretful and resent you for it. Since he is unwilling to express affection without sex, you are at an impasse. If you truly do not wish to marry, you will have to consider Dennis a good friend and look for the affection you crave elsewhere. Sorry.

Dear Annie: You made my day! Your reply to “John” about men wearing skirts was very much on target. It is almost certainly a passing fad. As a Scottish Rite Mason and a charter member of The Order of the Thistle of the Knights of Saint Andrew, I wear a kilt that is subdued McDonald in design.

By the way, we do not use the term “going commando.” If you see a man wearing a kilt and have to know whether or not he is wearing his unmentionables, just ask him if he is “regimental.” Being regimental means he is not wearing anything between what you can see and what you can’t. — Gerard in Guam

Dear Gerard: You made our day, too. We always wondered about those kilts.

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to [email protected], or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.