Dear Prudence: What changed her mind?
Prudie: I met a woman in 1999, we were immediately attracted to each other, and I asked if she was married. She said yes, but she was getting a divorce. From then to the present, she has had one excuse after another why her divorce is being delayed.
Her husband earns $200,000 a year, she stated early on, but the money was not an issue. I am a realtor who earns $100,000 a year. For the last six years, we have talked about our life together, and she’s told me (and written in love letters) that she is in love with me, but her husband won’t give her the money to get a divorce.
She has three boys in college and said her husband says she has to wait for a divorce. In the meantime, he’s moved out and lets her live in the home they were living in together. Now she says I pressured her “too much” and that she wants to end the relationship and move on!
I treated her with grace and respect, and we were compatible being intimate . . . so what happened? She must have written me over a hundred love letters, and if you read those letters, you would ask: What changed her mind?
— Joe T.
Dear Joe: What changed her mind? Probably $100,000. For a girl who said money wasn’t an issue, it was apparently enough of one that she wasn’t able to call any of it her own in order to pay a lawyer.
It also sounds as though she had buyer’s remorse, finding it more fun to write love letters and meet secretly than to actually leave her husband and build a new life with you. The reality of what you two had planned all of a sudden didn’t look so good to her.
Prudie knows this sounds crazy, but don’t take it personally. You were just there when she was looking for a little excitement. It would not be at all surprising if she and her husband reconciled. — Prudie, regretfully
Dear Prudence: I’m stuck in an office with a co-worker who is driving me slowly insane. She’s older than both my superior and I, so I don’t know how to approach her about her behavior. She incessantly talks loudly to herself in high-pitched screeching cartoony voices, makes what I can only describe as “squirrel noises,” and squeals like a stuck pig whenever she gets an e-mail/fax/etc.
Moving desks, wearing headphones or listening to music are not options. My friends are telling me to just ignore it, but to me this is like sitting next to a dentist’s drill all day. I’m starting to really hate coming to work, though I do like my job. How do I get her to stop or get over it? — Coming Unglued
Dear Come: This girl sounds like she’s escaped from the Disney animation department. Is there a chance she may be mentally disturbed? If she is just, um, shall we say, unconventional, then someone superior to her has to tell her that the sound effects are unsuitable for the workplace and must stop.
As for your friends’ advice to ignore all this, it is in no way possible to disregard a worker who talks to herself in cartoon voices, mimics a squirrel, and greets each incoming fax or e-mail with the sounds of swine. Good luck to you. — Prudie, raucously