Will bananas help win battle of the bulge?

So, you have eaten banana splits for a week and now you need to lose a few pounds. Sometimes fighting the battle of the bulge can be easier said than done. Here are a few tips.

1. If no-one sees you eat something, it has no calories

2. When drinking a diet Coke with a chocolate bar, the fat in the chocolate bar is canceled out by the diet Coke.

3. When you eat with someone else, calories don’t count if you don’t eat more than they do.

4. Food used for medicinal purposes does NOT count. (for example: chocolate, toast, cheesecake and vodka)

5. If you fatten up the people around you, you’ll look thinner.

6. Cinema-related foods have a zero calorie count as they are part of the entertainment package and not counted as food intake. (this includes: popcorn, minties, maltesers, jaffas and frozen Cokes)

7. Biscuit pieces have no calories because breaking the biscuits up causes calorie leakage.

8. Food licked from knives and spoons has no fat if you are in the process of cooking something

9. Foods that are the same color have the same amount of fat. Examples are: spinach and peppermint ice cream; apples and red jelly snakes.

10. Food consumed from someone else’s plate has no fat as it rightfully belongs to the other person and the fat will cling to his/her plate.