What’s the Word: Buzzwords part of today’s vernacular
I was recently introduced to a wonderfully impertinent and irreverent Web site called, appropriately, BuzzWhack. This site’s stated purpose is “de-mystifying buzzwords.” Of course, everyone in this day and age knows about buzzwords, those arcane terms coined by pundits to describe some aspect of whatever industry or activity they may be involved in at the moment. They usually result from an oddball combination of terms that, if one is knowledgeable about whatever subject they describe, seem to make perfect sense, and can sometimes be pretty amusing in the process.
Since I’ve been having great fun exploring this site, I thought I would pass along some of the buzzwords that have been popping up in our language, and the definitions BuzzWhack, (www.buzzwhack.com), offers for them.
Here’s one of my favorites.
Microwaiting: The time spent in front of the employee microwave while your lunch heats up. Regularly occurs a few minutes before noon and is generally not reported as a part of the lunch hour.
Here’s one that anyone who has attended a boring business meeting will love.
Coma factor: The degree of dullness of a meeting, presentation or reading material. “So let’s try to describe this issue in language with a low coma factor.”
Into Internet search engines? Well, here’s one that will be familiar to any search engine addict, the use of which has apparently migrated into interpersonal relationships as well.
Googling, to google: The process of using a search engine to uncover what you can about your new girlfriend or boyfriend. Named after the Google (www.google.com) search engine. “I’ll have to google her before things get serious.
Wow, that’s kind of scary isn’t it? That’s why it’s a good idea these days if your last name is Roberts to name your kid Julia. Pretty much makes them-
Googleproof: One of the few benefits of sharing a name with a celebrity. It’s virtually impossible for anyone to “google” or find out about you using an Internet search engine. You’re googleproof.
Oh, and here’s a buzzword that describes a particularly heinous type of cyber-language I personally hate with a passion, since I have spent many hours trying to come up with ways to filter out spam from my various home and office mailboxes.
Spamish: The insertion of symbols, numbers and spaces into words in an effort to fool today’s more sophisticated spam filters. Result: Sp&m g@ts throu?h the f!lters & !nt0 y0ur mai1b0x. And you still can understand it.
Man, I despise that stuff, even if (sigh) I have to admit it’s pretty clever.
Okay, we’ve all heard of multi-tasking, and many of us have been asked “cough” (required) to do it in our jobs these days. This has resulted in a new buzzword I just love.
Zerotasking: To do nothing or have nothing to do. Taken from the caption of a New Yorker cartoon, which pictures a serene-looking man plopped in a comfy chair.
Oh well, gotta go folks. Got some serious zerotasking to do after work tonight. You know, it’s so nice to have found something I can really do well.
Charlie Johnson is newseditor of the Standard. He can be reached at 473-2191 or by e-mail at newseditor@southernstandar.com.