Talk to aliens for as low as $3.99 a minute
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A new Web site got up and running in March to test just how smart a lifeform we are. I say if the Web site, called www.TalkToAliens.com, is a success, we really aren’t that intelligent after all. Creators of this Web site want people to pay $3.99 per minute to beam their messages into space.
I visited the Web site Friday and found a list of frequently asked questions. The first of those questions was: Is this a joke? To that, the Web site answered, and I quote, “This is not a gimmick. And, yes, we’ll transmit your messages — live — into space as you are speaking through your telephone.”
TalkToAliens.com uses a huge dish antenna located in central Connecticut to beam the messages into space. The company says it has no plans to beam messages back.
My big hang-up with this Web site, other than the fact you’d be a fool to pay $3.99 a minute for this service, is that it’s making a ridiculous assumption the aliens who hear your message actually speak English.
It’s hard enough to find a convenience store employee right here in Warren County who speaks English. With that in mind, I don’t think aliens who are millions of miles away in another galaxy are going to understand a word you say. And if they do, how well can they run a cash register?
Speaking of English skills, I just love a story I ran across in the Atlanta Journal Constitution. The article profiled a theme park located in El Alberto, Mexico that is devoted to helping Mexicans successfully complete their illegal journey across the U.S. border.
The park features, among other things, a realistic obstacle course that requires participants to use survival skills similar to the skills they need to sneak across the border. The cost of admission: $13. The cost of sneaking across the border: priceless.
And I leave you this week with the unfortunate story of Cedar Rapids, Iowa resident Chris Garcia, who was recently fired from his job at a gas station/ quick mart. Garcia’s problem wasn’t that he missed work or dressed inappropriately.
Rather, he had a nearly non-stop habit of “air drumming” while standing behind the counter. Management had no luck getting Garcia to stop his habit and a number of customers complained that it was highly annoying. Thus, Garcia was fired. All this makes me wonder if Garcia would have been fired if he simply played air guitar, which doesn’t require as much erratic movement.
Well that’s enough foolishness for one day. If you will be kind enough to direct your attention to the next page, I’ll bring you Business Pulse.
Dr. Mukherji to close his practice
It’s with sadness I bring you the news that beloved local surgeon Dr. Barun Mukherji has decided to close his local practice because of health reasons. Dr. Mukherji has been performing surgery in McMinnville since 1973, and not even he can say how many people he’s helped during those 32 years.
“I will do another surgery on Monday and that will be it,” Mukherji said Friday. “I need to get some treatment and get to feeling better and decide if I will reopen.”
Mukherji said he felt pretty good as we walked around parts of his seven acres Friday afternoon. He said he is using magnet therapy to help him deal with some of the pain, and indicated he knows such treatments to be effective.
With his wife Chitra at his side, Mukherji said he is most appreciative of the outpouring of support he’s received from the community.
“We are getting a lot of help and the people here are so very nice,” said Mukherji. “In my 32 years of doing this, I have met a lot of good people. You can’t find people like this anywhere else.”
Mukherji described the hospital services in Warren County in 1973 as “quite backdated.” But he was quick to emphasize that is far from the case now. He said River Park is a quality hospital, especially for a town this size.
I’m hopeful Dr. Mukherji will make a speedy recovery. For over three decades, he has meant a great deal to this community, both as a surgeon and as a man.
Standard brings home mountain of awards
The Standard is a business in this town just like any other and I often don’t take the time to toot our own horn. That’s going to change right now.
Standard representatives mopped up at Tennessee’s annual advertising and circulation awards ceremony held last weekend in Gatlinburg. The Standard won four first-place awards, five second-place awards, and six third-place awards.
“I was pretty tickled,” said advertising director Sharon Patrick. “We won as many awards as anybody there.”
What I find so impressive about the advertising awards is it shows the people who spend money to advertise here at the newspaper that they are getting quality ads as good as any in the state.
Ads for Supreme Building Products and Donald Hillis Realty each won first-place awards. The other two first-place awards were for the U in the Community page and a rack card promoting our “What’s Cooking” cookbook. Both were for circulation categories.
Ads for General Equipment, Barr’s Furniture and Ben Lomand Telephone all earned second-place awards.
All the awards show that the Standard’s ad designers, Kyle Ward and Nolan Esparza, are on the top of their game. Seth Wright, who does the newspaper’s front-page design and also draws editorial cartoons, helped with some of the award-winning entries.
Economist to evaluate Warren County’s economy
I’m not really a big rah-rah guy when it comes to meetings, but there’s a meeting coming up Thursday, April 28, you won’t want to miss.
Florida economist William H. Fruth, who has personally analyzed more than 600 local economies across the nation, will deliver a fast-paced and thought-provoking analysis of the greater McMinnville economy.
Fruth has studied local business and he will compare our economy to the rest of the nation. He will identify strengths and weaknesses and give his assessment of what direction we need to go.
“This is a big deal and we’re hoping for a large turnout,” said director of economic development Don Rigsby. “He’s going to do a target industry study to say what will work well here and he’s going to set five-year goals.”
Fruth has been retained by the Industrial Development Board to help find ways to improve the standard of living here by creating good-paying jobs. Hiring Fruth was a smart move and I’m anxious to hear what he has to say.
Anyone interested in attending the two-hour presentation should make reservations by calling the IDB at 474-4769. A continental breakfast, compliments of city and county governments, will start at 7:30 a.m. and the presentation begins at 8 a.m. at the Warren County Administrative Offices.
That’s all folks
Gotta go. Call in your business tips at 473-2191.