Canterbury Tales: Rumsfeld should sign his resignation
Poor Donald Rumsfeld! He cannot really be blamed for not signing that letter. There are mitigating circumstances.
First of all, he is very busy. He has to make sure all of our fighting men and women have the equipment they need. I hear he has spent countless hours at the mall underneath the Pentagon, trying to haggle with merchants for body armor.
He has to be prepared to speak intelligently at press conferences, so he spends a good portion of his day making up excuses and learning new ways to obfuscate the truth.
Pulling the wool over our eyes isn’t easy. It is too bad most people don’t realize all the time and effort that goes into the “Donald Rumsfeld Show.” If you knew what he goes through on a daily basis to make sure we have no clue what is really going on and that the precious national security stays threatened, well you’d be thanking him instead of calling for his resignation.
Second of all, he doesn’t even know these people. I mean, its not like that soldier was a relative or a friend of his. How can a busy man like Donald be expected to personalize a letter to a family he has never met? Besides, what if they wrote back? He wouldn’t have anything to say, though he would be obligated to respond and then the vicious pen pal cycle begins. What if they ask a question or need something? You know what a drag that can be. It’s like trying to buy a gift for a random office gift exchange — too much pressure.
He doesn’t have a pen. I guess it’s true, every office has a pen thief, even at the Pentagon. Don’t worry though, the new Homeland Security bigwig will find the thief and prosecute to the fullest extent of the law. Next year when they do the budget for the Department of Defense, Rumsfeld said he is going to try and squeeze in an order for a box of Bics.
Perhaps the best explanation for the machine signature is that real signatures are scary. It takes courage to tell someone that a beloved friend or family member has died. It takes something more than Rumsfeld has to express sadness for a life lost and gratitude for the family’s sacrifice.
Rumsfeld cannot sign that letter, or any others like it because then he might give the impression he recognizes the contribution of the deceased and that the contribution has meaning. To personalize the letter with a signature, or a note (like they did in World War II) would assign a soul to the number, it would make the soldier a person, with a family and friends who loved them.
For Rumsfeld it would be too difficult to ignore the needs of the soldiers if they were real people and not just names on a list. How can he go to war over oil with the army he has if they are actual human beings?
Come on Rumsfeld! What is it you do all day long and why does it cost so much money? Why is it during World War II Generals Patton and MacArthur themselves took the time to recognize those who gave their lives for the effort, and they were actually leading men into battle? If they could find the time to care and show loyalty to their troops, why can’t you get out from behind Dubya and do what’s right and honorable?
Get up off your lazy rump and go to the dollar store (there are plenty of people living in poverty in D.C., so you should be able to find one) and pick up a three pack of ink pens. After that come on back to your cushy technologically advanced, machine-ridden office, that my tax dollars pay for and in your own hand, write a good old fashioned letter.
Of resignation.
Oh, by the way, don’t forget to sign it.
Ingrid Canterbury is a reporter for the Standard. She can be reached at 473-2191 or by e-mail at [email protected].