People must learn to stand on their own
There comes a time when you have to let your kids walk on their own, even if it means a few bumps and bruises from falling down.
Unfortunately, this is a lesson too many parents and other loved ones are yet to learn as they are repeatedly victimized by a son, daughter, brother or sister who uses them at every opportunity, pulling them down in the same hole they live in. Forget trying to give these folks advice because they’ll figure you’re part of the same conspiracy out to get little Johnny. By the way, little Johnny is now 32, has an extensive arrest record, has fathered two children out of wedlock and isn’t paying child support. He hasn’t held a job more than a month and has stolen from each and every member of his family more than once.
Yet, little Johnny’s family and loved ones stand by him like an episode of “The Waltons,” dutifully believing they must endure his actions because they are kin. They believe his old tale that he has been plagued by a string of unfortunate events since he was a child, bailing him out of jail for every arrest, even putting their home on the line so he can get out and do it again. Sound like someone you know?
I see this all the time in my line of work. While these deadbeats aren’t inspired enough to hold down a job they are the best liars you’ve ever met. They can tell their poor old mother a sob story about how the law is just out to get them when they are arrested so she’ll bring her medicine money out to bail him out again. Then, when he’s mooching off her at home. He’ll steal her pills and whatever change she has left.
Folks, there has to be a stopping point here. The reason Johnny is a worthless piece of humanity at age 32 is because people never made him walk on his own. They coddled him and petted him every time he got into trouble, blaming it on the law or someone else. It was never precious Johnny’s fault. They gave him an easy out and never made him face the music for his own actions.
I was listening to our prosecutor speaking at a gathering last week and he made a good point. He said people want tough laws and enforcement until one of their own is arrested. Then, they don’t want leniency or even justice, they just want them let off. So much for learning a lesson.
It always astounds me how loved ones will support an obvious bad apple to the end. I see it all the time. They call them from the jail, get them all brewed up with one of their tales and then send them up here to paint a horrible picture for me.
Let me just say, I’ve been lied to so many times by inmates and their relatives, and caught them in the lie, that it’d take extraordinary events for me to believe any story coming from out there. It’s like the little boy who cried wolf now and you can blame that on all the con-men who have offered me false sob stories over the years.
Frankly, it’s the most frustrating part of my job, seeing relatives who have been brainwashed by these con-men. I know I can’t say anything to get them to change since they have to reach the end of their rope first. And sometimes it’s much easier said than done since these evil people will use grandchildren and other things to get their way with their relatives, a con which ranges throughout generations from siblings to parents to grandparents.
Final word. Barring a true religious experience, and I stress true since most of these con-men use religion as a tool also to con churches here, the only way they have a chance to change is making them walk on their own. Cut them off until they do. No calls from the jail, no meals at your home and no sympathetic ear. You keep coddling them and all you have to look forward to is someone finding them dead in a ditch some day.
Duane Sherrill is a reporter for the Standard. He can be reached at 473-2191 or by e-mail at [email protected].