Man sues over hole-in-one
The Muscular Dystrophy Association, a Tempe, Ariz., real estate firm, and two charity promoters were sued in September by Keith Schott, a golfer who had apparently legitimately made a fully witnessed hole-in-one during a charity round but who was allegedly turned down for the widely advertised $1 million prize when the sponsors imposed a rule that the money shots had to be videotaped. “Remarkably,” said Schott’s lawyer, “the defendants changed the rules on the spot.”
• North Carolina state Sen. Sam Ellis’ bill to change a section of state law that actually gives an enormous right to rapists failed in committee this year, with the result that some rapists may inevitably go free. If a rape victim chooses to carry her baby, and then place it for adoption, state law requires both parents agree to the adoption in writing, with no exception for babies conceived by rape. Thus, rapists might withhold their consent, thwarting the mother’s wishes, unless she agrees not to press charges for the rape. According to a September Raleigh News and Observer story, at least three women have recently been in that situation.
• The Wall Street Journal reported in September that Spain’s El Pais newspaper, in a now-discontinued ad for a 90-day subscription, had run photos of the New York City skyline, before 9/11 and after, with the tag line, “You can do a lot in one day. Just imagine what can happen in three months.”
Things People Believe
(1) The sheriff in Tucson, Ariz., warned the public in August of a gang of women who lure men via newspaper ads into believing that they can buy a starring role in an adult video, citing the recent case of a man who was enticed to send $1,100 to set up a video shoot, then $7,000 more, then $8,000 more, and then another $8,000; he quit only when he learned that the women had persuaded his parents to pay $20,000 more for their son’s “acting” career. (2) Lau Yat-fai, a 5-foot-9, 23-year-old basketball player in Hong Kong, paid the equivalent of about $1,400 for electrical treatments from two “beauty centers” that had promised to make him tall. (After filing a lawsuit, he got a partial refund in October.)
Thinning the Herd
A man’s body was found by divers in the Pend Oreille River near Newport, Wash., on Sept. 25; sheriff’s deputies estimate that he was carrying about 40 pounds of beer (a satchel full around his body, plus cans in his pocket) but said they would wait for an autopsy before commenting.
Unclear on the Concept
Laurie David is the social-activist wife of “Curb Your Enthusiasm” TV star Larry David, well known for speaking out on, and rallying other activists on, environmental issues, such as the need for energy conservation. According to a report in the September Atlantic Monthly, David shuns commercial airliners to get to her speeches (even though the increase in fuel usage to carry a person of her size would be negligible), preferring to make special trips each time by private jet, which a New Republic columnist calculated uses as much fuel in one cross-country round-trip as a Hummer uses in a year.
Almost All True
Three of these four things really happened, just recently. Are you cynical enough to figure out the made-up story? (a) The government of Vietnam is said to be moving to lethal injection for capital punishment because its firing squads, populated with volunteers, too often nervously miss. (b) An airplane hangar in a Los Angeles suburb was found filled with bags of empty soda cans, to a height of 10 feet, with police believing a gang has been stealing cans from homeless people. (c) A California county is systematically ticketing drivers who appear to be high only on kava herbal tea. (d) A Missouri man fled a court hearing on an animal abuse charge but was captured a few minutes later hiding in a doghouse.
Recurring Themes
In September, Floyd Edwards, 78, set out to drive his friend Ruth Stancil, 62, and Edwards’ son Clifford from their home near Erwin, Tenn., to nearby North Carolina towns for shopping, as they routinely do once a month. The round trip is usually about 100 miles, but once again, a senior driver became confused, lost track of time and distance, and was fearful of stopping. By the time the three returned, 60 hours later, they had traveled 1,600 miles, as far as an Atlanta suburb, where Edwards accidentally fell at a gas station and hit his head, necessitating a call to police, who were able to help the group turn around.
Readers’ Choice
In September, according to a report in Tehran’s daily Mardomsalari newspaper, a local court ordered a husband to stop beating his wife. However, the Iranian woman, identified only as Maryam J, said she would have accepted an order that just limited the beatings to once a week. “Beating is part of his nature,” she said, “and he cannot stop it.” The disconsolate husband said, “If I do not beat her, she will not be scared enough to obey me.”
Answer to Almost All True: (a), (c) and (d) are true.
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