Intimate acts reserved for private places

Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar

Dear Annie: My friend, “Michele,” thinks nothing of making out with her boyfriend, “Eddie,” in front of people. They baby-talk and giggle, hug passionately and kiss constantly, while the rest of us sit there in uncomfortable silence. Michele thinks if you don’t like it, tough.

Mind you, these two are in their early 40s and old enough to know better. I’m by no means a prude, but I certainly don’t want to see such intimate behavior at the dinner table. It’s rude, disrespectful and pretty gross.

How would you handle a situation like this? My boyfriend says I should ignore it. I think I should say something. What do you say? — Lost My Appetite

Dear Appetite: Slobbering Public Displays of Affection make most onlookers uncomfortable, and with good reason. This behavior is intimate and should be done in private. Simply excuse yourself, saying sweetly, “You obviously want to be alone,” and then leave.

Dear Annie: You recently printed a letter from “Getting Desperate,” an alcoholic who said AA wasn’t a good fit for him. He asked about other alternatives to stay sober.

An excellent recovery group is available nationwide. It’s called “Smart Recovery” (smartrecovery.org), and it is free and totally secular in nature. They have helped thousands of people regain control of their lives. The emphasis is placed on self-discipline. In addition, the group covers any type of addictive behavior, not just substance abuse. The address is: Smart Recovery, 7537 Mentor Ave., Suite 306, Mentor, OH 44060. — Anonymous

Dear Friend: Several readers recommended Smart Recovery. We want to thank all those who took the time to help with referrals. Everyone should be able to find something useful here:

From California: Tell him to look for a local branch of Rational Recovery (www.rational.org). It has a very different approach and philosophy. The address is Rational Recovery, Box 800, Lotus, CA 95651.

Out East: I’d like to recommend LifeRing (lifering.org) at 1440 Broadway, Suite 312, Oakland, CA 94612-2023 and Women For Sobriety (womenforsobriety.org) at P.O. Box 618, Quakertown, PA 18951-0618.

Boston: There are alternatives to AA for people who are uncomfortable with the religious/spiritual/theistic aspects of AA. Try Secular Organizations for Sobriety at www.secularhumanism.org/sos.
Wilmington, N.C.: Please tell the person about Moderation Management (www.moderation.org), 22 West 27th Street, 5th Fl., New York, NY 10001. MM empowers individuals to accept personal responsibility for choosing and maintaining their own path, whether moderation or abstinence.

Holyoke, Mass.: I am a substance abuse counselor. Your readers can check www.soberrecovery.com for other alternatives to 12-step groups.

Midwest: There is a basic national referral source for treatment programs for alcohol problems and drug addiction. It is found at www.samhsa.gov. You also can access this independent referral source from www.jointogether.org/sa/help. The advantage of these referral sources is that they are not sponsored by an organization that has an interest in providing treatment. And they can identify a treatment center near your home. Please share this information with your readers.

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.