Newspaper FOLLIES
I just love reading newspaper misprints or poorly worded phrases – provided of course they’re not in the Standard. Here are a few blunders which have actually appeared in newspapers throughout the country:
• Lost cat last seen at the Park County Rod and Gun Club Shooting Range.
• Stock up and save. Limit: one.
• Wanted: Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.
• Wanted: Somebody to go back in time with. This is not a joke. You’ll get paid after we get back. Must bring your own weapons. Safety not guaranteed. I have only done this once before.
• Free: farm kittens, ready to eat.
• If strike isn’t settled quickly, it may last awhile.
• Something went wrong in jet crash, experts say.
• Blind woman gets kidney from dad she hasn’t seen in years.
• Smokers are productive but death cuts efficiency.
• The Chico, Calif., city council enacted a ban on nuclear weapons, setting a $500 fine for anyone detonating one within city limits.
• Fireproof clothing factory burns to ground.
• Six men, their faces covered with red bandanas, got out of a Cherokee carrying a knife, baseball bat, billy club and rolling pin, said Davis, 20. “I knew when I saw the rolling pin that something bad was going down,” said Davis.
• Wanted: used paint.
• For sale: antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.
• Used cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!