The View From Here: I’m coming to grips with ‘the big surprise’
Although it’s been several months since I told my significant other to have a seat before I delivered the big news and his face turned white as a ghost, I’m still having trouble believing I’m about to become a mother again.
This coming week will be my last week at work after what I like to call “the big surprise” occurred after the first one came almost 10 years ago, and my bosses have been gracious enough to allow me some extended leave time.
Most people have been especially nice — from co-workers to the politicians and others – which was something I worried about when I approached my boss with the news. And everyone has been kind enough to ask me a number of questions, ranging from when I’m due, to how I’m feeling, to what “it” is.
And although that’s been nice, and sometimes annoying since I see so many different people in a week’s time, the truth of it is, I am relieved I won’t have to juggle running around with notebooks, cameras and in some cases, other people’s problems with a growing stomach and all the worries pregnancy and its complications bring. I’ve done the best I can with both.
With five working days left before I start maternity leave, I’m officially what they call “on short time,” hoping for a successful outcome — a healthy boy (hopefully, this won’t be another surprise), due sometime within the next few weeks. I would say the sooner the better, but my doctor knows better than that.
Of course I’m looking forward to some rare time off, given that I have a couple more decades of work ahead of me until retirement or I hit the lottery, but it’s a rather frightening concept to re-enter the lonesome world of diapers and feeding schedules after years of working outside the home.
I say working outside the home because many stay-at-home-mothers, and I was one for a time, don’t get the respect they truly deserve, and they do more work before sunrise than many people do in one whole day.
For some, it’s a relief to make the decision to go back to work just to regain their sanity again. I’ve heard one mother refer to herself as “feeling like a hag” after staying home for a year. For others, if they are financially able, they stick it out and love it. For most, however, going to work or going back to work is a reality of modern-day life, not a choice that is made with any degree of certainty. Neither is it guilt free by any stretch of the imagination.
But it’s a choice we all have to make — the decision of whether or not we will leave our children, which we are fortunate to have in the first place, behind at day care while we enter the so called land of the living under the trappings of necessity or for other reasons.
It’s a financial, political, moral, sometimes religious and personal issue as to whether or not the women, and in increasing numbers depending upon where you live, men, return to the working world.
Because I was fortunate to be able to stay home with our first child for some time while under the housing and medical safety net of the military lifestyle, I always marveled at people like my sister who returned to work after a mere six weeks. I admired their strength and thought I’d never be able to do it. But I also know the reality of staying at home.
I’ve been lucky enough to find a comfortable medium and plan to be back this spring, barring any unforeseen circumstances. It’s been an incredible year and it’s been refreshing to see complete strangers still smile at pregnant people in this world. I just wanted to use this space this week to say thanks to everyone who has asked about our family. It has meant a lot to us and the color has even returned on my husband’s face.
(Amy Satterwhite is a reporter for the Standard. She can be reached at 473-2191 or by e-mail at [email protected].)