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Memo to Iraqis: Let us shoot you

Memo to Iraqis: Let us shoot you

If you want to display your name or company logo on shirts, pants, jackets or any type of clothing, Paul Kring is the man to see. He’s pictured with his dog, Kia.
American intelligence has discovered a way to fight this seemingly certain war with Iraq — by bombarding the Iraqis with memos.

I say this after American planes have repeatedly flown over Iraq and dropped some 10 million leaflets warning Iraqi soldiers what not to do in the event of a U.S. attack. The latest round of leaflets delivered two separate messages. One told Iraqi soldiers not to dump oil in major waterways during war. The other warned against using weapons of mass destruction.

The way things are going, I suppose the next message will warn Iraqis they better eat all their vegetables or they won’t get any dessert. Or how about this since we’re wanting to make this war as easy on ourselves as possible: “Iraqi soldiers, don’t try to fight. Stand clearly in the open so it’s easier for us to shoot you.”

I say if we’re going to dump stuff all over Iraq, it should at least be stuff we don’t want anymore like household garbage. Instead we’re wasting all this money in printing costs for messages which are just going to be ignored.

I would like to see Saddam Hussein come back at President Bush with this response. “Mr. President, I have agreed to fully disarm and I have decided to relinquish control of Iraq, per your request. However, before I do, I must tell you we have a warrant for your arrest for aggravated littering. This carries a $250 fine. Since our records indicate you have dropped some 10 million leaflets, you owe $2.5 billion. Thank you and remember no one likes a litter bug.”

But that’s enough about foreign politics and not enough about dumb criminals. Before I get to this week’s Business Pulse, I’ve got to tell you about a 19-year-old Philadelphia man who tried to rob a Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurant.

The man’s plan began to fall apart when he decided to rob the same KFC in which he had been working for the last two years. To make matters worse, he decided not to wear a disguise.

When he burst into the restaurant wearing no mask and demanding money, all the employees easily recognized him. They didn’t give him any money and the manager called the cops.

To give the guy just a little bit of credit, he successfully hid from police for three days but then, for some reason we will never know, he decided to report back to work at KFC as if nothing ever happened. His co-workers kept up the act long enough to call police and he was arrested.

That’s enough small talk. Now for the good stuff.

Hastings announces opening date
For all the folks who have been reading about the opening of Hastings and have wondered when that day will come, I finally have an answer for you.

Hastings will open its McMinnville store Monday, March 24.

According to information I received from Hastings, the store offers “the ultimate one-stop shopping experience” when it comes to entertainment products. Hastings will stock over 20,000 book titles and thousands of CDs, cassettes, video tapes and DVDs. There’s also computer software and magazines.

If that’s still not enough, there are listening stations to check out all the new music releases and TV monitors which show previews of the latest movie rentals. If you’re not in a hurry, you can relax in an overstuffed chair and enjoy a cup of coffee or a frozen fruit drink from the Hastings coffee shop.

Remember, the fun all starts Monday, March 24. Hastings, which was founded in 1968 for all you trivia buffs out there, is located in Northgate Shopping Center across from Fred’s Pharmacy.

Paul Kring now owns embroidery business
It’s neat having a shirt or jacket personalized with your name or company logo. If you don’t believe me, just ask the folks here at the Standard.

When I walked into the office Friday afternoon with a handful of shorts bearing the faithful Southern Standard logo, you would have thought I was handing out money. I was almost trampled by a stampede of people rushing to grab their free pair of shorts.

That’s the sort of excitement Paul Kring hopes to generate with his new business which is called P.K. Embroidery. Paul is actually not new to the business at all. He had been working for owners Tony and Cindy Parlato, under the name Vigorelli Sportwear, when he decided to buy the embroidery portion of the business.

“There was a shift in the business so I thought buying it was the thing to do,” said Paul.

He’s still got Cracker Barrel as his main customer, but is anxious to pick up some more work around town. He does a top-quality job and can add lettering or designs to any piece of clothing from shirts to shorts to jackets.

“I had a lady bring in a racing jacket and it only cost her $10 to have a name put on the front and the back of it,” said Paul. “The biggest thing is people just don’t know I’m here.”

Whether you want embroidery work for one shirt or 1,000 shirts, P.K. Embroidery can do the job. It’s a great idea for local businesses or local ball teams looking to add a personal touch to their clothing.

Paul can be reached at 507-5553. His business is located on Durham Street, just past the railroad tracks after you pass Shelton’s.

There’s a new garage in town
If you’re having car trouble (and don’t we all have car trouble at one time or another?) there’s a new garage open on S. Chancery Street. Called Southern Automotive Concepts, it’s co-owned by Doug Black and Carl Steele.

The key to any successful garage is employing qualified mechanics and Doug believes he has found good ones in Roy Cravens and Brett Coffman. Roy has worked as a mechanic for Turner’s and Willmore Ford and also owned his own shop called Shade Tree Garage for a little while.

“Everybody who has ever dealt with me knows I’ll be upfront and honest with them,” said Roy. “And there’s hardly a car out there I haven’t worked on except for maybe a Lamborgini and a Hummer and you don’t see many of those cars here in McMinnville.”

Doug says Southern Automotive Concepts has been open about two months, but said business has picked up noticeably over the last week or so since Roy has been on board. He also said they are going to adhere strictly to the automotive labor guide which indicates how long each job should take.

“If the book says it should take two hours to do the work, and it takes us three, we’re only going to charge you for that two hours work,” said Doug. “We’re going strictly by the book.”

Doug wanted to emphasize Southern Automotive Concepts offers $19.95 oil changes and will also perform diagnostic work. He also said they will look over used cars anyone has questions about.

“If you’re looking to buy a used car and want to get it checked out from top to bottom, we’ll do it,” said Doug. “There’s really not a place in this town that does that.”

Southern Automotive Concepts is located across from Hillis Grocery on S. Chancery Street. The phone number is 474-0852. They also do auto detailing work.

New realtors join Ramsey Boyd Realty
If you’re looking to buy a house, you might want to note that Rhonda Page and A.W. Myers have joined the staff at Ramsey Boyd Realty.

Rhonda comes to Ramsey Boyd with three years of real estate experience. A.W. is new to the business and has taken a particular interest in buying older homes and fixing them up. He says he’s willing to buy, sell or trade and will help with the financing.

The number at Ramsey Boyd Realty is 473-2126.

A.O. Smith honored for workplace safety
A.O. Smith was honored by the Tennessee Department of Labor and Workforce Development on Friday for completing 1 million work time hours without a lost-time injury. In doing so, A.O. Smith became the first company in the state to apply and qualify for two such consecutive awards.

I extend my congratulations to A.O. Smith and all the employees who are working to keep the place safe. A.O. Smith currently employs around 650 workers.

That’s all folks
Remember to keep those business tips coming. If you don’t want to call me (473-2191) or e-mail me ([email protected]) then just fly over the Southern Standard office and drop hundreds of leaflets telling me about your new business.

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