The Scoop: If life was like a fortune cookie
If only life could be as happy and carefree as a fortune cookie. Those cookies always seem to contain such uplifting messages of hope and promising things to come.
As a guy who doesn’t shy away from the buffet table, I’m no stranger to fortune cookies. In fact I probably crack open a new fortune every week at the local Chinese buffet.
It’s not that I’m crazy about Chinese food. What I do like is how a buffet symbolizes life so to speak. I always say life is like a buffet because it’s not always good, but there’s plenty of it. Plus, if it’s a Chinese buffet, you’re always sure to get a fortune cookie.
Those fortunes, while usually silly, can occasionally provide pretty appropriate insight. I’ll always remember the fortune I once opened that said, “If at first you don’t succeed, redefine success.”
Now that’s a lazy man’s fortune for you. It’s sure an easier alternative to the popular phrase, “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.”
No matter the message, fortune cookies make a great topic of conversation. We usually go around the table and take turns reading our fortunes out loud.
I’ve found people, for the most part, enjoy these tiny messages because 1) they come with a tangy cookie, and 2) they are almost always kind words or friendly advice. Here’s a few samplings:
• You will live long and prosper.
• You are filled with life’s most precious treasure – hope.
• Kindness and generosity are your greatest companions.
I’m sure fortune cookie writers have discovered it’s more popular to receive a pleasant fortune than one with negative implications. In all my years of opening fortune cookies, I’ve never received a message that said, “You will leave the grocery store to discover someone has backed into your car and driven off.”
In actuality, that’s probably much more likely to happen than my long and prosperous life. But that’s part of the reason fortune cookies are so alluring. There are certain messages which will never make it to a fortune cookie:
• You will receive a $103 speeding ticket next Tuesday.
• Your heart is impure and your soul is evil.
• Bad things always happen to you because you are a loser.
Generally speaking, it wouldn’t be much fun to read any of those messages when we’re going around the table. I would have to pretend my cookie was one of those rare cookies which slipped out without a fortune.
And that’s the great thing about fortune cookies. They aren’t like life. They don’t bring bad news. And every once in a while they just might deliver a message that’s clever.
If there’s anything you can say about the Chinese, it’s that they eat a lot of rice and they have no shortage of proverbs. I’ll leave you this week with a few of those Chinese proverbs which are worth repeating:
• Never wear your best pants when you go to fight for freedom.
• Always remember you are unique — just like everyone else.
• The problem with any unwritten law is you don’t know where to go to erase it.
• It’s easier to get forgiveness than permission.
• To be wronged is nothing except for those who continue to remember it.
• A man who wants to live forever will always die trying.
• One cannot refuse to eat just because there’s a chance of being choked.
• Of all strategies to know, when to quit is the best.
• It is the beautiful bird which gets caged.
• When you are poor, neighbors close by will not come. Once you become rich, you’ll be surprised by visits from relatives from afar.
• Do not remove a fly from your friend’s head with a hatchet.
(James Clark is editor of the Standard. He can be reached at 473-2191 or by e-mail at [email protected].)