What’s the Word: Politics makes for some good humor
Since Tennessee’s 103rd General Assembly convened at noon on Jan. 14 in our fair, or at least musical, capitol city of Nashville, perhaps it would behoove us to poke a little fun at the otherwise serious business of government.
Most of us are aware of the dire consequences that can occur once the lawmakers get going, particularly in the realm of budgets and taxes, so it’s sometimes hard to believe there’s much humor in the process, but if you look for it, there’s really quite a lot of hilariously apt quotes from various political pundits throughout history, and ironically, many of these pundits are politicians themselves.
First, in all fairness, most of the laws drawn up by these august bodies are for our benefit and are meant to protect our rights, our health and well-being, and the many freedoms we enjoy as Americans.
On the other hand, some are so strange and obstreperous they border on the bizarre, leading some of the most astute minds in history to say some pretty funny things about the inner workings of what we like to call government.
Herewith some of my favorites.
First, a few on the economy, dearest to many of our hearts.
“A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.” – George Bernard Shaw.
And this from the sage who came up with Reaganomics.
“Government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.” – Ronald Reagan.
Here’s one on the vagaries of foreign aid that’s so “on the money” it’s scary, though, in truth, it’s not really that funny.
“Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.” – Douglas Casey.
We hear talk all the time about “liberals” and “conservatives” and “moderates” and the like, but we hardly ever see any sort of concise definitions of those differing political philosophies. Well, here’s a pretty good one.
“If you want government to intervene domestically, you’re a liberal. If you want government to intervene overseas, you’re a conservative. If you want government to intervene everywhere, you’re a moderate. If you don’t want government to intervene anywhere, you’re an extremist.” – Joseph Sobran.
And here’s one guaranteed to make the liberals among us seethe.
“A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money.” – Gordon Liddy.
Okay, time to take a few jibes at the universal favorite. The one that can leave us in red-faced apoplectic fury quicker than any of the others. Our old, and inevitable, friend, or perhaps I should say companion, taxes.
“Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else.” – Frederic Bastiat.
“We contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.” – Winston Churchill.
And I love this one.
“The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.” – Mark Twain.
And here’s another from that perspicacious wit. Listen up 103rd Assembly.
“No man’s life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session.” – Mark Twain.
Gee, thanks Mr. Twain. I feel better now.
(Charlie Johnson is a reporter for the Standard. He can be reached at 473-2191 or by e-mail at [email protected].)