The Scoop: Landing a book deal may be easy
For anyone who has every toyed with the idea of writing a book, there’s hope out there.
The recent release of “Prisoners of Hope,” written by American missionary workers Dayna Curry and Heather Mercer, is proof it doesn’t take brains to land a book deal. I can’t tell you if the book will make for good reading, but I can tell you the two women who wrote it sure aren’t very smart.
The way I see it, over the last year they’ve made one dumb move after another. Dumb move No. 1 would be traveling to Afghanistan in the first place. Dumb move No. 2 would be preaching Christianity — clearly a violation of Afghan law and punishable by execution. They even went so far as to show a film about Jesus.
The two were incarcerated for several months before they were rescued by American troops and returned to safety in this great nation we call the United States. Now, after a book deal and a few months of rest, Curry and Mercer say they’re ready to make dumb move No. 3 — to head back to Afghanistan.
Don’t wait for that U.S. rescue this time girls. If preaching Christianity and doing good deeds is truly their calling, there’s plenty of that which can be done right here in America. You can stand on the street corner and holler if you please.
And here’s the real clincher. Preaching Christianity is legal in this country. If you do it on Sunday you’re likely to draw a crowd. You don’t have to risk torture and death. These are very key perks.
But maybe that’s why I don’t have a book deal and Curry and Mercer do. I generally abide by the law and don’t envision myself being thrown in an Afghanistan prison.
I can say the only time I’ve truly feared for my life is during a flight from McMinnville to Daytona aboard Frank Rice’s tiny airplane. For anyone keeping score at home, that was dumb move No. 1 for me.
Even though I might not have the life-or-death material to work with, I’ve always wanted to write an epic novel. There’s really no reason behind this wish other than the fact it would sound neat to tell everyone I’ve written an epic novel. I put it in the same class with being able to tell folks I’m an investigator.
For my epic novel, I’d have my picture on the back cover in some sort of intelligent-looking pose, preferably sitting next to a fireplace. The front cover would contain a review from USA Today which simply said, “Riveting.” Another analysis from Time would call it, “One of the 10 best books of our generation.”
As for exactly what this book would say, I’ve yet to figure that one out. But the way folks are writing books nowadays, I believe I’ve got a fighting chance.
When I mentioned my epic book idea to NASCAR columnist and local attorney Bernard Smith yesterday, he told me he was knee deep in a book of his own. His book, however, is not going to be of such high literary value. Rather Bernard plans to write a book which he says is going to, “Blow the doors off Warren County.”
He’s going to expose all the lies, all the corruption and all the cover-ups he says have taken place in this county over the years. Come to think of it, that’s not a bad idea. Not that I’m going to be the one writing it, but if Bernard goes to the trouble, chances are I’ll buy a copy. If he makes the editor of the local newspaper appear to be a beacon of good will and justice, I’ll probably buy several copies and give them to my relatives.
As for me, I don’t care to stir up that much trouble and I generally don’t drive fast or chase criminals. As you can see, my potential book topics are fading fast.
Unless someone wants to read a novel about the wonders of the TV remote, I better put my book on hold for now.
(James Clark is editor of the Standard. He can be reached at 473-2191 or by e-mail at [email protected].)