Family’s redneck attitudes embarrassing
Dear Prudie: I need some help. I’m a college student in a large metropolitan area. I consider myself very progressive while my mother’s family is . . . well, not. They’re racist, homophobic and make fun of anyone who is slightly different from them. Some of them even make fun of my father for being Irish!
Grandma is the worst of them, and when she gets a couple drinks in her, the “n” word flies like you wouldn’t believe. You can’t differ with her, or she’ll immediately kick you out. (This is starting to look like a welcome solution.)
Family is important to me, but I don’t want to even think about bringing friends home. My sister has already experienced embarrassment by bringing a boyfriend to a family gathering. I can’t date a guy without wondering whether he’ll at least be able to keep his trap shut around them. I wouldn’t put a guy in this situation since I have a hard enough time, myself, putting up with them.
Should I voice my disapproval and let the devil take the hindmost, silently put up with their redneck attitudes toward those different from them or just visit them as little as possible with no explanation? They already think I’m too “high-minded” from my college experiences. What do I do?? — Liberal in St. Louis
Dear Lib: You are not so much liberal or “high-minded,” my dear, as unbiased, and you have all this figured out quite well. Prudie suspects you’ve already voiced disapproval, and, unfortunately, nothing is likely to change. It is a great plus that you have emotionally dismissed this xenophobic, intolerant crowd’s ideas and can still manage to spend time with them.
As for bringing boyfriends around, perhaps that should not happen until there’s a ring on your finger and the young man has been thoroughly briefed about the Archie Bunkers he is about to meet. — Prudie, tolerantly
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Dear Prudence is written by Margo Howard, Ann Landers’ daughter. All letters must be sent via e-mail to [email protected]. Due to a high volume of e-mail, not all letters will be answered.