Robservations: The worlds of sports, courts converge again
The latest in-court action from around the world of sports:
Dateline, Vancouver: The sucker-punch heard around the world of the NHL has landed the Canucks’ Todd Bertuzzi in trouble with the law.
Bertuzzi, if you’ll recall, broke the neck of the Avalanche’s Steve Moore with a hard shot from behind back in March. Driving Moore’s head into the ice with his cheap shot, Bertuzzi broke three vertebra, and gave his victim numerous cuts, a concussion, and amnesia.
After a four-month investigation, Bertuzzi — who delivered a tearful apology days after the attack — was charged with assault. He’ll go to court next month.
Suspensions resulting from his attack cost the Canuck star a half million dollars, and the team suffered a quarter-million dollar fine. It’s up to the courts to now decide how much more Bertuzzi will pay for his actions.
I have a suggestion: Drop Bertuzzi’s suspension, and let him skate the next time the Canucks play Colorado. I’m sure the ‘Lanche can think of a suiting punishment for what he did to their teammate.
• Speaking of hockey, track star Tim Montgomery should be a goalkeeper. If he’s anywhere near as talented deflecting pucks as he is at deflecting attention, he’ll make a good one.
Montgomery was told on Wednesday he faces a lifetime ban from his sport by the U.S. Anti-Doping Agency, according to a report in Thursday’s San Francisco Chronicle.
But rather than focus on his own steroid scandal, the paper had an even bigger story on its hands, thanks to Montgomery’s leaked testimony to a federal grand jury.
In fact, they had a “Giant” story on their hands.
According to the article, Montgomery admitted to the grand jury that he used steroids, and also volunteered the information that the BALCO founder Victor Conte — who supplied him with the drugs, also told him he had been supplying San Francisco Giants slugger Barry Bonds with banned substances.
So now, even though Montgomery is the one facing the lifetime ban, it’s Bonds, and not Montgomery, which makes the more interesting story.
Whenever these steroid scandals resurface, which they tend to do every three weeks or so, it always dawns on me that the simple, natural act of using the rest room into a specimen jar could end all the accusations for good.
But I guess that makes too much sense.
• Speaking of something that makes no sense whatsoever, the Super Bowl streaker Dale wrote about in his Wednesday column was fined $1,000, and received no jail time, for his halftime antics at this year’s big game.
Looking at (thankfully) blurred footage of Mark Roberts’ little dance, I noticed he had the name of a casino painted on his bare back while he bounced around in his little g-string. It’s a pretty safe bet (pun intended) that the casino paid Roberts more than enough to cover the cost of his fine, wouldn’t you agree?
Still, I don’t know if any amount of money would be worth letting it all hang out — or, at least, letting most of it hang out — at the most-watched sporting event of the year.