Taking A Stand: We should all lead by example
It seems like everybody can tell you how to do right yet very few lead by example, opting instead to adopt a doctrine of do as I say, not as I do.
Frankly, it’s easier to give a person directions on how to get to a point than to lead them there yourself. The same is true with setting good examples. It’s much easier to explain how something is supposed to be done, rather than showing the person by doing it yourself. Setting an example often takes effort and requires some dedication on the part of the person serving as the example.
Hey, I’m just as bad as the next guy. I’ll walk into the living room and tell my son Jack to clean up his mess of toys in the floor as I kick a pair of my pants from under foot so I don’t trip over them as I’m issuing my executive orders. I’ll tell him to eat his food at the table while I kick back on the couch eating a bag of chips and sip on a drink. I’ll tell him he needs to get to bed so he’ll have plenty of sleep while I stay up playing video games until the wee hours. Then, I have the audacity to wonder why my sage advise isn’t always followed to the letter by my son.
Anybody can stand there all day and let their jaws flap, telling others how they should conduct themselves, but words of advice are no good unless they are backed up by actions. This is especially true when you deal with kids since they are very impressionable. They’re literally looking for role models and, face it, they’ll find a role model out there. The only question is, will their role model be good or bad. If they choose you to be their role model, how will you stack up?
I see some people, parents especially, scratching their heads after their children become addicted to meth, cocaine or other drugs. They’ll point out they raised the kids in a good Christian home with strong values and a good family unit, yet their kid started using drugs for some unknown reason. Then, in the midst of the explanation, the person excuses him or herself so they can take a nerve pill to calm their nerves.
Should I be surprised if Jack leaves his toys in the floor if I leave my pants in the floor? By the same token, should a parent be surprised their kid grows up to use drugs when the parent runs to the medicine cabinet to take a nerve pill every time something doesn’t quite go their way?
It’s all about examples. An abused child is much more likely to grow up to be an abuser. That’s not because of what he learns at school from a buddy or what a teacher failed to teach him, it’s what he learns from mommy and daddy at home. Don’t tell your kid not to shoplift a Snickers if you do it while you’re sitting at home watching the cable your stealing from the company because “the company charges too much.”
And here’s one which comes around to haunt a lot of folks in Warren County. Don’t you dare try telling your kid about competition and sportsmanship when you’re one of those parents who can be heard cussing and raving at coaches and umpires at a little league game because a call didn’t go the way you saw it.
Nobody is perfect, I know I’m not. I’ll probably continue setting a bad example when it comes to picking up my stuff; however, I’m going to try my hardest to set a good example on important matters, like teaching my son the importance of restraint and peacefulness by not laying the back of my hand to those foul-mouth parents at ballgames.
Duane Sherrill is a reporter for the Standard. He can be reached at 473-2191 or by e-mail at news@southernstandard.com.