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Last thing I need is backtalk from the dog

Last thing I need is backtalk from the dog

Similar to the gadget that translates a dog’s bark, the Meowlingual is due in Japanese stores in November.
If you’ve ever looked at your dog and wondered, “Just what could ol’ Leroy be thinking?” you are not alone. Apparently, this is an overwhelming question in Japan.

So much so, those tricky Japanese have invented a new gadget which translates a dog’s bark into human language. This gizmo, called the Bowlingual and sold exclusively in Japan, has been a smashing success with the manufacturer selling over 300,000 units.

These devices are virtually useless in America because they translate a dog’s bark into Japanese. And I probably have a better chance of making sense of a dog’s bark than I do making sense out of Japanese.

But all that is about to change. The gadget maker is on the verge of releasing the Bowlingual in the United States next month. It will sell for about $125 and can translate each and every bark your dog utters.

Now before you rush to judgment and say the Bowlingual is just high-tech garbage, you should know it interprets each dog bark based on scientific data on animal sounds from a Tokyo laboratory. It takes advantage of the same technology that analyzes human voices, helps solve crime and is a major part in designing software for cell phones.

In other words, this thing will come pretty close to determining what your dog’s bark really means. And for convenience sake, it straps to your dog’s collar so you will hear his bark, then hear the interpretation.

The main problem I have with this invention is I don’t think I want to know what my dog’s barks really mean. That’s part of the attraction to owning a dog. You can pet it, and love it, and throw it outside in the cold and you never once have to hear what the dog has to say. Try doing that to the wife and it’s a different story.

The last thing I need when I’m kicked back watching a game is to hear, “I’m tired of watching football” and have those comments come from the dog.

Or how about when I go chain him up. I fully realize he doesn’t like this. I can tell by his demeanor. It sure wouldn’t make me feel any better to hear, “No, no – not the chain! Not the chain again you heartless creature of evil.”

Paying $125 to hear backtalk from my dog is not my idea of fun. And just so cat lovers aren’t left out, Japanese engineers are working on a kitty version called the Meowlingual, set for release in Japan in November. Oh joy.

Before I bring you this week’s Business Pulse, and oh what a column it is today, I wanted to make a comment on the search for weapons of mass destruction in Iraq.

Now I’m not going to be critical of this embarrassing situation because that won’t serve a purpose. To borrow a quote from our beloved President George W. Bush, “I think we all agree, the past is over.”

That brings me to this week’s joke:

President Bush and Colin Powell are sitting in a bar.

A bar patron walks over and says, “Wow, this is a real honor. What are you guys doing in here?”

Bush says, “We’re planning to conquer Iraq.”

And the guy says, “Wow! What’s going to happen?”

Bush says, “We’re going to kill 140 million Iraqis and one beautiful blonde.”

The guy exclaimed, “A beautiful blonde? Why would anyone want to kill a beautiful blonde?”

Bush turns to Powell and says, “See, I told you no one would worry about the 140 million Iraqis.”

Same-day surgery center just days away from opening
It seems like it sure happened quickly, but McMinnville’s new same-day surgery center is on the verge of opening its doors, or rather opening its operating tables.

I stopped by the facility Friday afternoon and was surprised to see everything looked pretty much ready to go. Administrator Carolyn Hutton said Middle Tennessee Surgical Care just needs to pass one more inspection later this week before getting the OK. Some patients have already scheduled surgery for July 28.

“It’s taken a lot of work,” said Carolyn. “We’re fortunate we have a really good staff.”

The facility is for people needing same-day surgery only. There is a recovery room where patients might stay for about two hours after surgery before being released.

“The doctors’ offices have had several patients express an interest in this,” said Carolyn.

The addition of the same-day surgery center will give River Park Hospital some local competition. It will be interesting to see how that unfolds, especially considering River Park’s recent battle with Blue Cross Blue Shield insurance. I hope the same-day surgery center can thrive while not hurting the great asset that River Park is to this community.

One of the things I like about the same-day surgery center is that it’s owned by the physicians who work there. And there are some good ones: Dr. Barun Mukherji, Dr. Brad Brock, Dr. Jeff Lawhon, Dr. Rene Del Valle, Dr. David Watlington, Dr. Don Arms, Dr. Douglas Haynes and Dr. Oscar Spivey.

In addition to those doctors, the surgical center has a staff of 13 registered nurses, operating room assistants and office staff. Surgery at the center must be scheduled through your doctor.

There will be more coverage on the surgery center, and its impact on the community, in coming weeks in this column and on the front page.

Robbins revved about his new dealership
The news of a local car dealership changing hands would normally be the top Business Pulse story of the week. And it is big news that Mike Robbins has bought the Chrysler, Dodge and Jeep dealership that had been owned by Aubrey Turner since the late 1970s.

Mike seems like a great guy and a person determined to get what is now McMinnville Chrysler, Dodge, Jeep back on the right track. He owns a Chrysler dealership in Ringgold, Ga., about 90 minutes away.

“I’ve never done anything but work in a car dealership ever since I was 11,” said Mike, who took over the dealership in Ringgold about four years ago when his father retired. “We want to grow this business and give people the most car for their money. Buying a car should be fun and that’s not the way it is at a lot of places. We want to have great cars, great people and great deals.”

Mike says he’s been familiar with Turner’s for years. His father, A.G. Robbins, and former Turner’s owner Aubrey Turner got into the car business at the same time in the late 1970s. The two initially met at an orientation meeting and stayed in touch because their dealerships were relatively close.

“Over the years we would swap cars with them and things like that,” said Mike. “So we’ve known about Turner’s for a long time.”

Mike says one of his first goals is increasing the used truck inventory and the used vehicle inventory in general. He says he’s heard that late-model used cars and trucks are very popular in this area.

Mike says he will be in McMinnville once a week. His general manager, Henry Strickland, is a part owner in the business and will be here on a full-time basis. Henry wants to be a big part of this community and he and his wife plan to start looking for a home here.

“My office is right here in the front of the showroom and I want people to know my door is always open,” said Henry. “I understand the importance of keeping the customer satisfied.”

The immediate goal is to grow the dealership and improve on the 225 new car sales made each year. Mike says his dealership in Ringgold sells over 500 new cars a year.

Mike and Henry say they’re waiting to serve you. Give them a call at 473-4486 or stop by the dealership on Smithville Highway.

The rumor mill hits high gear
The coffee shop talk that’s coming my way tells me that City Drug is in the process of selling its Main Street store to Eckerd’s. That’s the word on the street at least.

I couldn’t verify this information last week, but I did find out a good bit about Eckerd’s. The chain originally opened in Erie, Pennsylvania in 1898 and now has 2,640 stores operating in 20 states. Eckerd’s says it has over 75,000 employees including 8,000 pharmacists.

As always, I’ll do my best in the coming weeks to find out if this is simply a silly rumor or the truth.

That’s all folks
Be sure to give me a call at 473-2191 with all your business tips. If I’m not here, I’ll probably be in the doghouse wondering just what my dog is thinking. You can also send me an e-mail at [email protected].

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