Taking A Stand: Why can’t I talk to a real person?
So I’m calling for some information on a story and I get transferred into this never-ending web of voice-automated machinery.
“For personnel press one, for human resources press two …” the irritating recorded voice on the phone told me as she droned on, making me think I’d accidentally called one of those 900 numbers where you pay by the minute.
“I want to talk to a real, live person,” I yelled into the phone, my patience quickly escaping me as I was given every option in the world EXCEPT to talk to a human being.
Long story short, I eventually got my information after being bounced from Nashville to Memphis and down to Atlanta. Of course, this was a government agency, notorious for being cocky about how it does business. Hey, I can understand user menus once in a while, but to put a person through a marathon of answering machines is just plain rude. At least give me the option of pressing “0” for the operator. Some menus don’t even give that option anymore since many of us old-timers who like talking to humans got wise to the whole answering machine thing and automatically dialed the operator.
It amazes me how some businesses have even gone to voice-automated phone systems. Even the Standard has one, but that’s after hours and generally there’s nobody here at the time and it’s just to take messages. However, to use such automation during business hours is just silly.
Personally, if I’m thinking about doing business with a company and I’m confronted with a maze of answering machines right off the bat, it’s very likely I’m going to hang up and go to a competitor. Hey, if they don’t think enough of me to give me a human when I call, then I don’t think enough of them to hand over my cash.
Of course, there’s one thing that’s worse than automated answering machines, that being, an idiot on the other end of the line. You know what I’m talking about. It’s those places where it’s like you woke up the receptionist from a deep sleep. Any question you have is greeted with an “uh, well, I don’t know” or worse, you get a rude person who acts like somebody just killed their dog that morning. And, don’t forget about those places you call where it sounds like you’ve interrupted a keg party where the receptionist is laughing and talking with someone else even before she transfers you. Makes you feel real important as a customer to take second fiddle to a humorous story about someone’s pet coon.
It astounds me why a business would allow a customer’s first impression to be presented by someone who is lucky to get their shoes on the right feet in the morning. I figure if the person manning the information center is an idiot, then the remainder of the business either doesn’t care, are also idiots or the girl has one incredible set of legs. While the latter may be a valid excuse for her presence, it still does me no good as a customer since I’m calling for information. And to avoid being sexist, I’ve been greeted on the phone by men who sounded like they did the voice for Beavis and Butthead. Idiocy does not have gender barriers.
It would be so refreshing for the person on the other end of the line to care about what I think and to actually try to direct my call to a person who might just be helpful. Hey, if you can’t answer my question that’s fine, just direct me to someone who can.
Here’s a novel idea for businesses and even government entities. Why not do away with the robots and trained monkeys and replace them with a person who actually knows what day it is. Just maybe business would pick up a bit if a person could get the information he or she needs without having to suffer through phone rage.
(Duane Sherrill is a reporter for the Standard. He can be reached at 473-2191 or by e-mail at [email protected].)