The Village Idiot: Some things I can’t remember
I am at the video rental store looking at a wall of movies under “New Releases,” and I can’t for the life of me remember the name of the movie that just six months before was such a big thing. One critic called it “one of those old-fashioned comedies they don’t make anymore.” Another said, “Has the makings of this summer’s biggest smash!” And these were critics that didn’t even work for the company that made the movie.
It must be up there, but nothing looks even vaguely familiar. “Head Over Heels,” “Hearts in Atlantis,” “Lost Souls,” “Angel Eyes,” “Before Night Falls,” “Don’t Say A Word.” I wonder if my memory is going, but I hear people all around me having similar problems.
“‘Frequency?’ Is that the one with John Cusack in the record store?” “’15 Minutes’ with Robert De Niro? Was that even in the theaters?” “‘The Cell’? Is that the prison movie with Sean Connery, or is that the one where Hugh Grant plays the doctor?”
Why is it that I can remember the words to songs I haven’t heard in 40 years, Bible verses, Shakespeare quotes, movie dialogue from “Casablanca,” “The Godfather” and “Caddyshack,” but I have no memory of even hearing of a movie called “Vertical Limit”? The box says it stars Scott Glenn and Chris O’Donnell as mountain climbers and that it opens with a cliff-hanger — literally. Yet it rings no bells.
We all have memory problems. Sue can remember stupid things I did 20 years ago, but she can’t remember that I don’t like squash. I won’t eat squash, never liked squash, don’t want to be near squash, please stop growing squash. I bring it up because tonight, of course, we had squash. I said, “Wow, squash again? Didn’t we just have it Monday and Tuesday?” She said, “Remember that time you told me in 1986 that now was the time to buy a Betamax? That they would never sell for less than $600? It was Feb. 16. It rained that day till about 3 o’clock, then it let up. It was a Friday. Want more squash?”
Advertisers think everyone has memory problems. Why else would Budweiser have to tell us 20 times a night to drink beer? Do they really think their customers will forget to drink beer if they’re not constantly reminded? Have you ever heard a beer drinker say, “Whoops, I forgot to pick up some beer on the way home”? Or “Honey, while you’re at the store, could you pick up some brand of beer that’s not the one I usually drink?”
I used to keep a list of books by a certain mystery writer so I could remember if I had read them or not. Then I realized, if the books are that much the same, why am I reading them? I could just read the same one over and over. If I have to start keeping a list of movies I want to rent, maybe I should just buy one I like and watch it over and over.
(Jim Mullen is the author of “It Takes A Village Idiot: A Memoir of Life After the City” (Simon and Schuster, 2001). He also contributes regularly to Entertainment Weekly.)