Taking a Stand: At last, I have my vision back
What did you do last Friday? Myself, I sat around in a room with 11 semi-blind strangers on Valium, all wearing ridiculous-looking hairnets talking about politics.
No, it wasn’t a 1970s-era drug party, a cross-dressers convention or an encounter group trying to determine if we got enough love as children.
After three years of debate and procrastination, I finally underwent LASEX surgery Friday and, for the first time in my 12-year career here, I can actually see what I’m typing as I’m typing it – without glasses. Heck, now I can even see you on the street. The only thing I can’t see is the Best of the Best columnist award which should be hanging above my desk right now, but that’s another story.
In years past, some folks thought I was stuck up because I didn’t return a wave or didn’t act like I recognized them. The fact of the matter was I simply couldn’t see past my rather long nose and I hated wearing my glasses because they shielded my otherwise handsome face. The only time I’d break down and wear them was when I was driving at night or sitting on the couch watching television. Now, I can even see the score ticker on the bottom of the screen on ESPN. without glasses, a major step forward in my book.
For those of you thinking about laser surgery to correct an age-old vision problem, I would encourage it. The most painful part of the whole thing was parting with the 2,000 hard-earned dollars to pay for the procedure.
However, if my friends are right, many of whom have had the surgery, the money will be well-spent. Heck, in one night alone I went from 20/240 to 20/40 vision and it’s supposed to continue increasing as my eyes heal. Prior to the surgery, the only letter I could read on the optometrist board was the big “E” at the top. Shoot, I didn’t even realize there were other letters on the board until I went in for an exam the day after the procedure.
The whole thing takes about five minutes. The longest part was sitting in the waiting room, waiting for the affects of the Valium to kick in, watching other people get the surgery on closed-circuit television.
For those of you kicking the idea of LASEX around, it’s quite painless. While I may appear to be a big tough guy, I’m actually as squeamish as a little school girl when it comes to stuff like this. However, it never hurt a bit.
All that happens is they put you on the table and line the laser up over your eyes. Then, the doctor puts your eye in a restraint so you can’t blink and folds back the covering of your eye. Since they numb your eyes, you only feel a little pressure.
Then the laser kicks in for a few seconds and the doctor puts the covering back on your eye, and boom, you can see. Well, actually you feel like you’re looking under water for a while just after the procedure and you need to keep your eyes closed for a few hours until the soreness is gone, but otherwise, I could see like the Six Million Dollar Man the next morning when I woke up.
The one disappointing thing is insurance companies still consider the procedure a cosmetic surgery and won’t pay anything for it. I find this remarkable, especially after talking to my sister-in-law this weekend. She is married to an army guy and is considering the surgery. However, even the army insurance won’t pay for LASEX.
Making it even more amazing is the fact she told me their medical coverage will pay for breast enhancement surgery. The army’s logic is enhancement is good for the morale of its fighting men. OK, I can’t argue there, but still, it seems like vision is pretty important in the scheme of things.
(Duane Sherrill is crime and court reporter for the Standard. He can be reached at 473-2191 or by e-mail at [email protected].)