Dear Prudence: Should our toddler say, ‘Yes ma’am’?
Dear Prudence: My husband and I disagree on how our toddler should respond to adults when asked a question. We were both brought up in southern Louisiana, where respect to adults was always pretty high on the list.
I’m 27 and a staunch supporter of “Yes, ma’am” and “No, sir.” My husband is 32 and not so big on the “No, sir.” He says that not many male adults deserve the respect of being called sir, but he will show respect by not responding with “Yeah” when asked a question.
I’m trying to teach my 2-year-old to avoid the “Yeah” response entirely. To me, if those words of respect aren’t added, it just screams “rude.” My husband’s OK with “Yes, ma’am” and “No, thank you,” but we are at a standstill on how to address the males. Keep in mind that I still refer to my parents’ friends as Miss Candy, Miss Debbie, Mr. Carl, Mr. John, etc. (I know the Miss is not the correct title, but that’s just Southern.)
So what is the solution? If my father says, “Son, do you want to put on your shoes?” My son says, “Yeah.” Then I normally say, “Yes, sir,” which he repeats, and my husband cringes. Is there another way to respond to a male with respect, other than to say, “Sir”? — Respectfully Yours
Dear Re: While “ma’am” and “sir” do show a proper, if formal, upbringing, those niceties are definitely in decline. A nice midway point for you and your husband would be to teach your little boy to call people by their names. As a response to your father, for example, Prudie thinks, “Yes, Grandpa,” would be perfect. (Though not a Southerner, Prudie is with you on the inelegant “yeah.”) — Prudie, courteously.
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Dear Prudence is written by Margo Howard, Ann Landers’ daughter. All letters must be sent via e-mail to [email protected]. Due to a high volume of e-mail, not all letters will be answered.