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The View From Here: Welcome to the South, Satterwhites

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By Amy Satterwhite / Columnist

“Native” is obviously too strong a word, but I sure do know a lot more about living in the South than I did seven years ago. My Wisconsin accent, sometimes mistaken for a Chicago one when people learn we moved here from southern Illinois, is just about gone.

This is a huge step, considering that growing up, the most I knew about the South was what I learned on “The Dukes of Hazzard,” which, incidentally, my brother and I loved.

For all we knew, the South was a dusty place where people jumped cars over river beds without getting hurt. And while Uncle Jesse was wise, Rosco and Enos weren’t exactly models for intelligent thought when they got outwitted by “them” Duke boys.

So I had some preconceived notions about the South, but by the time we moved to Tennessee, they weren’t really related to questions of intelligence. I had long before realized when we lived in Texas with the military that there were many smart people living there, and I was low on the totem pole. It was a silly generalization.

But I did bring with me an old habit. Northerners tend to move through their days briskly. A colleague asked about this once and the only way I could explain it was to say people work hard and want their time off to be as meaningful as possible. They don’t want to waste it standing in line for a gallon of milk.

I say all this as my mother and father-in-law have made their way to sunny Tennessee. I’ve found myself discarding any lingering prejudices in favor of plainly explaining to them how things are.

Among my tips for my in-laws, if they so desire to hear them:

  • Tell people you moved here from a place that is an hour from Kentucky, not that you moved from southern Illinois. Otherwise, people will assume you came from a big city, and that is apparently not OK.
  • Expect to see a bait, tackle and lunch combo at your favorite gas station. While you might have witnessed this phenomenon while visiting other states, there’s no comparison. Don’t panic when you reach into a store cooler for your favorite Sundrop product and crickets, placed nearby for your convenience, start chirping.
  • Don’t expect people to move through the work day as fast you did. They’ll get to it when they get to it, and everybody is all right with that.
  • If you do get in a hurry at the grocery store, don’t let the clerk know it. They will purposefully spend more time making small talk with the person in line ahead of you who snuck his 40 items into the 20-items “fast” aisle. It’s inconsiderate to rush people and worse to voice frustration.
  • Don’t be surprised when school is canceled for a trace of snow, but be careful if it does. People follow too closely when it snows.
  • Learn where the old Red Dog was.
  • If anybody finds out you’re not from around here, you’ll get blamed for “bringing” any cold weather that hits with you.
  • If you need help, ask, and you shall receive.
  • Relax. It’s the south, for goodness sake, and it’s gorgeous. Take time to take in the dogwoods in the spring and drive down Viola Highway in the fall. And don’t forget to go to a bluegrass concert. There’s so much untapped talent here, it will make you want to cry.

    Hopefully, if you do these things, you won’t be too overwhelmed by some of the differences, which aren’t better or worse, just different. Perhaps these tips will ease the transition and you’ll stay.

    Just know that if you do stay, you won’t be a Yankee, but a different kind of Yankee – bless your hearts – but we’ll get to all that later.

    Amy Satterwhite is a reporter for the Standard. She can be reached at 473-2191 or by e-mail at citynews@southernstandard.com.
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