Get rid of boyfriend you can?t fully trust

Dear Annie: I have been seeing “Alberto” for a couple of years. He is 56, and I am 45.

Alberto has had quite the past with various women. He does not see anything wrong with keeping in contact with them. They call him on his cell phone, he continues to have lunch with them, and he takes them for rides on his motorcycle.

Is this normal behavior, or should I be jealous? Alberto knows that I do not approve of these friendships. He even has had conversations with these women about me. He tells me I need psychiatric help because I get upset.

I’ve told Alberto I have no problem with his past — unless it’s happening in the present. Should I end this relationship and move on? — Just Wondering in Wyoming

Dear Wyoming: Yes. Alberto’s friendships with these women may be perfectly innocent, but they do not include you, and this creates uncertainty and justifiable concern. Trustworthy men do not have private phone calls, lunch dates and motorcycle rides with old girlfriends. Either he should reassure you about these friendships by including you, or he should end them. When he says you need psychiatric help, it’s his way of deflecting the blame. Lose him.

Dear Annie: I read with chagrin the recent letter from “Frustrated,” whose husband tried to tutor their daughter in math. I am a private tutor, and all too often, I have heard similar stories about parents who try to tutor their own children.

Parents have too much emotionally invested in their child’s success to do a good job. I recently learned this lesson myself when I tried to tutor my own daughter in reading. I would get so angry that the sessions always ended in tears.

Your advice to find another tutor was right on. However, I’d also recommend that “Frustrated” have her daughter professionally tested. It sounds like there could be an underlying learning disorder. — Long Beach, Miss.

Dear Long Beach: We appreciate the excellent suggestion. Several tutors wrote to say that parents do not make good tutors for their own child. On behalf of all the tormented children out there, amen.