Husband may be disappointed with my body

Dear Margo: I’m a 46-year-old woman who’s been married for two years to a man I adore. I think the feeling is mutual. My problem? I’m pretty sure that he is disappointed with my breasts. Not only am I 46, but also I breast-fed two kids 20 years ago, which doesn’t help the situation.

A year ago, my husband made a couple remarks indicating he wouldn’t mind my having a boob job, which I found devastating. I don’t want to subject myself to the pain, expense and risk of unnecessary surgery. The whole idea had me so upset that my husband did not ever say anything about it again, but I still worry about how I look to him.

He, by the way, is going bald. I’ve never said anything about that because I think he’s a little sensitive about it. I feel that my decision to forego surgery is logical, so why do I still worry about this, and how can I get over it? — Sag Lady

Dear Sag: You worry about this because we are almost a fetishistic society about women’s breasts. Pencil-thin models have noticeable knockers, courtesy of doctors, and Victoria’s Secret knows how to make a mountain out of a molehill, so to speak.

As we age, all of us wonder how far we should go to beat the clock, please the partner or fool the public. I find your reticence admirable, and I suspect Old Baldy is sorry he ever brought it up. Perhaps, with humor, you could tell him you considered suggesting hair plugs for his little problem, but you decided you love him just the way he is.

As for “getting over it,” just think about being authentic and grounded, and having real values. You might also want to think about Gypsy Rose Lee’s wonderful apercu, “I’ve got everything the younger girls have, only mine is lower.” (For young readers, Miss Lee was a smart and famous stripper.) — Margo, naturally