Some sports stars I can do without

Ryan Austin Harrelson

Nickolas Wayne Smith

Ryan Austin Harrelson

Nickolas Wayne Smith

There are plenty of celebrities in the world, and more than enough in the world of sports.

We have quality role models, we have dominant record-setters, and we have dynasty-building coaches that we can all admire.

If you want to base your life on the examples set by Bill Parcells, or if Lance Armstrong?s battle against cancer inspires you through your daily life, that?s great. If George Foreman showed you that life doesn?t end at 40, then hallelujah.

And if you haven?t chosen a sports idol, don?t worry. There are still many, many, many to choose from. So many, in fact, that the time has come to cull a few from the herd.

With that said, here?s a list of sports ?stars? who shoud have their star status revoked, and hopefully will never be heard from again.

? Maurice Clarett: That?s enough, he?s finished.

For one, he?s never done anything noteworthy on the football field, with the exception of a big touchdown in a bowl game. So he?s a fair football player, but apparently a remarkably accomplished criminal.

Clarett was arrested ? again ? on Wednesday, after being found wearing a bulletproof vest and carrying four loaded guns in his car, which was finally stopped after a high-speed chase with the police.

He?s in jail on a $5 million bond, and here?s hoping he never gets out and we never have to hear from him again.

? Floyd Landis: Appar-ently, Andy Warhol was right. Everybody does get to be famous for 15 minutes. And for some, in minute 16, we all find out what a cheater they are.

Floyd, you juiced. You got caught. Now take your shame, and go hide in the hills somewhere. Do us a favor and stop making up new excuses.

And by the way, the latest excuse of ?I didn?t get a chance to defend myself because the press reported my test results too quickly? doesn?t hold water. That?s like saying you could?ve gotten away with stealing a car, if the cops had waited until you got it in your garage before they saw you.

So for Landis, let?s hope everything?s over. If he?s a really good boy, maybe ?Wide World of Sports? will do some sort of ?Where are they now?? feature on him in 20 years or so. Maybe.

? Chris Brown: Yes, he?s one of our precious Titans, even though he doesn?t want to be. My question, however, is this: Has he ever done anything worth noting?

Other than complain about competition for the starting job, and a strong showing back in his college days (sound like anyone else on this list?), Brown has been an average ? or even below-average ? back in the NFL. So do we need to hear about his agent showing up at camp with more trade demands?

Well, apparently we do. But hopefully it won?t be for long.

? Barry Bonds: You knew he?d be on this list, didn?t you?

I just can?t stand the thought of even an alleged cheater standing atop the home run list. Even second place kind of turns my stomach. So for my sake, and the sake of fans everywhere, let?s make a deal, Barry.

We?ll stop calling you a cheater, and you can get on the handlebars of Floyd Landis? bike and pedal off into the sunset ? forever.