Just who are those judges?
Flashing and blinking, blinking and flashing, flashing and blinking. When will it all stop! How do I stop all this flashing and blinking! For the name of all that is good, will somebody tell me how to stop all this flashing and blinking!
See, that?s my problem. I can?t walk off from the voting machine until I?ve stopped all the flashing and blinking. I don?t care if it?s a race for dog catcher between Daffy Duck and Mickey Mouse, I?ve got to cast my vote to stop the little light on the MicroVote machine from blinking before I can leave the booth.
For those of you real Americans who vote, you know the machines here have little lights which blink to remind you to vote in the corresponding race. Once all the lights are solid, you know you?ve voted on all the races on the page and can move on to the next page. This is a safety device so you don?t accidentally forget to consider a race.
The key word there is a safety device. This means you don?t have to vote in every race if you don?t want to. You could even browse over all five pages of this year?s ballot and click the red button at the end and not vote in any race. The machine merely makes you look at all five pages before pushing the red button.
However, for those of us with compulsion problems, it?s not so easy. There?s just something about those flashing lights which leave me with an irresistible urge to stop them from blinking. And, seeing I?d be arrested if I took a hammer to the machine, the best way I?ve found to stop the blinking and flashing is to vote on every issue.
While this is easy for most elections, this one is a monster with all those stupid judge ?yes? or ?no? questions on the ballot. We get them every eight years, asking whether we want to retain such and such judge. And, unless you?re some big-time lawyer, you?ve probably never heard of any of them.
I do understand the reasoning as it gives the voters a chance to kick out a bad judge, something which really happened eight years ago. However, by the same token, it slows progress in the ballot box.
This was amplified by the ?also-ran? primaries on the ballot where folks I?d never heard of (mind you I work at the paper) have their names on the ballot for governor and various representative races. Hey, if you?re going to run, at least put out a sign or something. It seems like any loon off the street can qualify for a race nowadays. And committeeman? What?s a committeeman and why should I care who it is? Can someone tell me why there?s a blinking light by committeeman?
While I?m over-dramatizing the issue, the No. 1 complaint of voters I?ve spoken with while taking my exit poll this election has been the length of the ballot. Frankly, they are happy to see my straight-forward six local race ballot after spending 10 minutes looking at names they?ve never heard of before.
Unfortunately, this is a necessary evil as we would be mad if we couldn?t vote out various appellate judges. I just wish they?d stagger the terms or something.
And, by the way, just because this is a long ballot gives you no excuse to not vote. If you don?t vote, you?re not a real American, you simply live on American soil and enjoy our rights without contributing. If our boys can be dodging IEDs in Baghdad, you can go to the air conditioned polls in your gas guzzling SUV and vote. Contribute something, even if it?s just your vote.
Duane Sherrill is a reporter for the Standard. He can be reached at 473-2191 or by e-mail at [email protected].