Find son productive activities

Dear Annie: My son is 7 and having problems with the few kids who live around us. There is one little boy in particular, “Jamie,” who has the mouth of a sailor and is constantly picking on my son. There are other kids who hang out with Jamie and are mean to my son when they are in a group. My son is a very loving and kindhearted boy, but he needs to defend himself and not let these kids convince him to do things that will get him into trouble.

I have tried everything from talking to the other moms to grounding him. I don’t know how to get my son to understand that he should either stick up for himself or just stay away from Jamie. I don’t want him to end up with no friends, but I also don’t want him to be the one they kick around. Jamie also picks on my 10-year-old daughter when she visits me, and then she turns around and picks on her brother to get the other kids’ approval.

I don’t know what to say anymore when my son comes running home crying because they were mean to him. He won’t take my advice to stay away. — Troubled Mom

Dear Troubled: Being around these children makes your son feel popular, and he’s willing to put up with the negative consequences for the satisfaction of being part of the junior “in crowd.” Don’t focus too much on Jamie. Instead, get your son involved in other activities, so he can meet more appropriate friends and develop some self-esteem. Also, you must teach your daughter the importance of sticking up for her brother. She will be proud of herself later.

Dear Annie: My son and daughter-in-law have been married for seven years. Even though I have given her permission to call me “Dad” or use my first name, she has done neither. She says “Dad” is not appropriate and using my first name would be disrespectful.

I have finally decided to come down to her passive-aggressive level and eliminate using her name. I actually feel better. Do you have a better idea? Our son wants nothing to do with this situation. — Hi/Bye Guy

Dear Guy: Your daughter-in-law doesn’t want to call you “Dad” and feels awkward calling you “Joe.” In seven years, she hasn’t found a palatable alternative.

Sometimes this problem is resolved when grandchildren enter the picture and you are “Grandpa” to everyone. If that’s not happening, it’s time to ask again. She needs to understand how much this bothers you. Tell her if she uses your name regularly, it will become more natural, but she must make the effort.