Don?t go overboard with compliments
Hey guys this could be for you, so read up. I want to know where the Southern Gentlemen are? Recently I had the unfortunate luck of being privy to some statements made by a man to a friend of mine.
Although she does dress nice every day, on this particular day she wore a skirt that was slightly above knee length. My friend, who takes pride in her appearance, was totally shocked when the man started making provocative statements to her about her appearance.
What bothers me is I see things like this all the time. Men think that this kind of behavior is OK and that?s the problem. Somewhere in their upbringing or maybe later, who knows where they get it, they were either directly taught or picked up on the ?fact? that it?s OK, or that we, as women, like that kind of behavior.
Not all of us are craving attention by wearing something nice. Some of us, like my friend, dress nice because being presentable and taking pride in our appearance is the best way to be and live their lives. It makes us feel good.
We do not dress nice for you. We are not doing it to make you feel good, so learn that. If you do get some pleasure from it, just enjoy and stay calm.
We, like men, want to live in a better world. In a better world we watch what we say because chauvinism is no longer appropriate. For some of you guys this could mean changing everything.
So here?s the plan. The next time you see a lovely woman limit your remarks to ?Nice day, isn?t it,? and if you simply have to take a double take because you can?t control yourself, try harder.
I know what most men say: ?We just don?t know what women want.? Well, maybe I can help you out.
? We like to be complimented, but not ?Show a little more cleavage next time.? If you must say something to a woman you find beautiful, please be more man than animal and say something like, ?You?re looking lovely today,? or anything else not insulting. If you are not sure if the statement is insulting, just bite your tongue and don?t say it.
? Although men do make pet names for their wives or girlfriends, it is not appropriate and not appreciated to call a woman a ?chick,? as we are not chickens; ?skirts? or ?broads? or ?dame.? If you use these words, slip into 2006 with the rest of us please. ?Babe,? I know is slang for baby, so save it for a baby. When you don?t know her name, it is appropriate to say ?Miss? to get her attention.
? Although we do appreciate a gentlemen opening a door for us, it?s only required if you are in a relationship and you started doing it at the beginning of the relationship. If you don?t want to continue, you shouldn?t have started. And the same should go for us, shouldn?t it guys?
I?m sure some women will read this. If some men just can?t take the hint from your embarrassed look after his remark, please say something to him. It is for the betterment of mankind that this kind of behavior has an expiration date on it. How about yesterday?
A decisive ?your behavior is not appreciated, so please stop? should do. If it doesn?t, find a real Southern Gentleman and maybe he can explain it to him.
As for you true Southern Gentlemen, keep up the good work. Maybe others will pick up on the ability.
Lisa Hobbs is a reporter for the Standard. She can be reached at 473-2191 or by e-mail at [email protected].