Sometimes little lies are necessary

I try not to lie. I say try because sometimes lies are necessary. For those of you who are right now thinking, ‘No it’s not! I never lie.’ Remember, lies can be verbal and non-verbal. Lies can be big or small. Lies can be harmful or helpful. However, they are still lies each and every one.

For instance, and I hope she forgives me for this, I have a sister whose cooking is questionable to me. To her, her cooking is fine. She likes to experiment with recipes. To me, I want food as it should be before the experiment.

The way I deal with this situation is to not eat it and pray she doesn’t ask me why I’m not eating. Being truthful, shouldn’t I tell her that I don’t care for her way of experimenting? No, instead I don’t say anything. By allowing her to think her food is OK with me, am I not lying?

Isn’t the act of holding something back a lie? If I said, ‘I don’t particularly care for that’ even that would be a small lie. In truth, I hate it.

Fox Network’s ‘Truth’ is a controversial game show in which contestants are asked a series of highly personal questions while connected to a polygraph machine.

A Colombian version of the series, called ‘Nothing But the Truth,’ made headlines when a contestant confessed to hiring a hit-man to murder her husband. The murder attempt failed and the show was temporarily taken off the air.

America’s version is a little more prepared for things they don’t want to air. Before the show is taped, a contestant is given a polygraph test and asked 75 questions. Samples include: ‘Are you sexually attracted to one of your wife’s friends’? ‘Do fat people repulse you’? and ‘Do you think you’ll still be with your husband five years from now’?

A couple days after the test they are brought back and asked 21 of the original questions before a live audience, including family and friends. This being the case, the player knows exactly what the questions could be.

All the player has to do to win is to tell the truth. If the answers are true, the top prize is $500,000. The contestant can stop at any time, but once a question is asked, an answer must be given.

This show interests me because people must be deceptive to some extent and here is a show that refuses to let people be deceptive: If you answer and you are lying, you lose. If you refuse to answer, you lose.

Interestingly, if the person refuses to answer a question, we’ll pretty much know the answer now won’t we? Example: Have you ever been attracted to you husband’s best friend? If you don’t answer, that’s because the answer is yes.

Since I first saw the show advertised, I’ve thought about why people lie, the degrees of lying and the necessity of lies. Let’s take the attraction to your husband’s best friend. If you have, you probably won’t act on it. At least most of us wouldn’t, so what would be the purpose of telling your husband? Most guys wouldn’t handle that knowledge well.

Let’s be honest, if we can, there is a reason why everything we think isn’t said out loud. From young children, we are trained to not be completely honest as a way to not hurt other’s feelings. At least most of us are.

As grown-ups we think things that aren’t said. This training, for those of us who have it, comes in handy in everyday life. If the training is done correctly, even when the truth must be said, we try and think of words that will be less hurtful and in doing this, we are less honest.

With this show, all the secrets come out and all the lies are revealed. I definitely know where I’m going to be on the night of Jan. 24 ‘ watching contestants destroy their lives for a few bucks.

Lisa Hobbs is a reporter for the Standard. She can be reached at 473-2191.