Fill up your Friday with more funnies
It’s quickly becoming a recurring theme of your Friday doses of Robservations.
Once again, because no one asked for it, we present a full day’s supply of sports jokes, copied from the Internet for your amusement. Feel free to tickle funny bones around the home and workplace with these goodies (consensual tickling only, please.)
‘ One for the kiddies: Why did Cinderella get kicked off the basketball team?
She ran away from the ball.
‘ Smart dog: A guy walks into a bar with his pet dog. The bartender said, ‘Sorry. No pets allowed.’
The man replied, ‘This is a special dog. Turn on the Jets game and you’ll see. Whenever the Jets kick a field goal, my dog does flips.’ The Jets keep scoring field goals and the dog keeps flipping and jumping.
‘Wow! That’s one heck of a dog you’ve got there. What happens when the Jets score a touchdown’?
The man replied, ‘I don’t know. I’ve only had him for seven years!’
‘ Academic all-star: A sportswriter was interviewing a basketball coach about his star player: ‘He’s great on the court,’ the reporter said, ‘but how’s his scholastic work’?
‘Why, he makes straight A’s,’ replied the coach.
‘Wonderful!’ said the sportswriter.
‘Yes,’ agreed the coach, ‘but his B’s are a little crooked.’
‘ Shady dealings: How many NCAA basketball players does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one. But he gets money, a car, and three credit hours for it.
‘ Holy war: One day, the devil challenged the lord to a baseball game. Smiling, the lord proclaimed, ‘You don’t have a chance, I have Babe Ruth, Mickey Mantle, and all the greatest players up here’.
‘Yes,’ snickered the devil, ‘but I have all the umpires.’
‘ One for the LSU fans: Phil Fulmer walked into the locker room before a game, looked over to his star player and said, ‘I’m not supposed to let you play since you failed math, but we need you in there. So what I have to do is ask you a math question and if you get it right, you can play.’
The player agreed, and Fulmer looked into his eyes intently and asked, ‘Okay, now concentrate’ what is two plus two’?
The player thought for a moment and then he answered, ‘Four’?
‘Did you say four?!’? Fulmer exclaimed, excited that he got it right.
At that, all the other Vol players began screaming, ‘Come on coach, give him another chance!’
‘ One for the Vol fans: A huge, full-blooded Cajun decided to try out for the LSU football team. ‘Can you tackle’? asked the coach.
‘Watch this,’ said the freshman, who proceeded to run smack into a telephone pole, shattering it to splinters.
‘Wow,’ said the coach. ‘I’m impressed. Can you run’?
‘Of course I can run,’ said the freshman. He was off like a shot, and, in just over nine seconds, he had run a hundred-yard dash.
‘Great!’ enthused the coach. ‘But can you pass a football’?
The freshman hesitated for a few seconds. ‘Well, sir,’ he said, ‘If I can swallow it, I can probably pass it.’