The doctor is in and he’s hot!

Dear Margo: I work in a male-dominated field and am therefore around lots of men every day. Not until I went to see this physician did I feel what I guess people call chemistry.

My husband is an absolutely wonderful man and father. He is supportive, funny, successful and loving. However, I am wildly attracted to this other man.

I made up two reasons to have sham appointments. For the last one I dressed as sexy as I could on a workday, and flirted as best I could without seeming too forward. He was friendly but did not initiate anything.

Then, I saw the physician in the grocery store, and he made it a point to smile at me but not speak. My husband and child were with me.

At any rate, I have a follow-up appointment in about one month. Should I be forward with him? (And if so, how?) I do not want to lose my husband, but I am interested in this other man. ‘ Jennifer

Dear Jen: You should know that I am a doctor’s wife. Granted, he’s a heart surgeon whose patients are knocked out and under anesthesia, making it difficult for his women patients to make goo-goo eyes at him . . . but I will speak for my sister physicians’ wives.

Try to understand that attraction to doctors is somewhat about their status as healers and seemingly all-wise, and the appeal often involves a fantasy. The balance of power is never equal: The patient is the needy one; the doctor the “fixer.” If this man is a psychiatrist, he could lose his license for beginning an affair with a patient. If he is a general practitioner, it would be unethical at best.

This is not to say that doctors don’t fool around or date patients, just that the “chemistry” you’re feeling may be something else. I would dial back any ideas you have about being forward.

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Dear Margo is written by Margo Howard, Ann Landers’ daughter. All letters must be sent via e-mail to [email protected]. Due to a high volume of e-mail, not all letters will be answered.