Be concerned about relationship

Hi, Margo: My aunt “Sharon” is 40 years old and dating a guy who is 24. She has been seeing him for less than a year, and he has just asked her to marry him. She actually said yes. We all thought it was a joke until she showed us the ring. (She has three children, the oldest 21.)

We all think she is insane. My grandmother (her mother) told her to give the ring back and not to accept, because he is young enough to be her child. When she realized that everyone was against her decision, she adopted the attitude that it is “her life, and she’ll do as she pleases.”

This may be true, but he has nothing going for him: no job, lives with his grandmother. (He got kicked out of his mother’s house because he didn’t want to help pay any bills.)

She wants to be married so bad that when the opportunity finally presented itself, she jumped at it. She has a book that she writes in, saying what her dream wedding will be, what colors, what type of cake, etc. You get the drift.

She is naive about the person who got down on one knee. We all know what is going on in her relationship, and she doesn’t. How do we get her to see what we see? ? Niece Who Needs Help in Florida

Dear Niece: The real answer is, “You don’t.” It is darn near impossible to change the mind of a girl or a woman who’s decided she is getting married. Don’t ask me how I know this.

Along with her dream wedding, she will be getting a guy she will be supporting probably until she tires of the sex. All you can say is that you are concerned because of the age difference, his lack of employment and his aversion to bill-paying.

There is a chance (slim to none) that this marriage will work, and if it doesn’t, please try very hard not to tell Aunt Sharon, “I told you so.” ? Margo, prophetically

A Civil Way To Say “None of Your Business”

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Dear Margo is written by Margo Howard, Ann Landers’ daughter. All letters must be sent via e-mail to [email protected]. Due to a high volume of e-mail, not all letters will be answered.