Couple decides to slide down aisle
I’ve long thought democracy is the greatest form of government in the world. But this year’s presidential election really strains that belief.
In this great nation of ours, are you telling me those are the three most qualified people we have for our country’s highest office?
Hillary Clinton suddenly decides to lie about being under enemy fire and running for her life during a trip to Bosnia.
Barack Obama doesn’t like to wear an American flag, or pay it proper respect, and he doesn’t mind listening to a preacher who spouts anti-American rhetoric.
John McCain’s best qualification, as far as I can tell, is that he was a prisoner of war. Personally, I would rather vote for someone who was smart enough not to get captured.
The next time I hear someone talk about the wonders of democracy, I’m not going to disagree. However, I think it is appropriate to note the presidential election of 2008 as a point of contention.
But I don’t want presidential politics to dampen the normally cheerful mood of this column. Business Pulse, by its mission statement, is defined as a time of happiness in which business news is conveyed.
In an effort to stick with that definition, I bring you the story of an Alaskan couple who traded in a walk down the aisle for a trip down the water slide. I guess you could say Mark Confer and Joanne Wainwright took the plunge into marriage, literally. The two were married last weekend in a swimming pool.
I’ve heard of all types of wedding dresses, but never one that resembled a bikini. And just think of all the money that could be saved in tuxedo rentals.
From a personal standpoint, it would have been really neat to have my wedding pictures made without a shirt. The only thing that might be better is a wedding picture made while sitting on a recliner with the remote. If I were to have my wedding pictures made today, I would be talking on my cellphone.
For today’s final tidbit, I take you to Muncie, Ind., where there is an important lesson to be learned about alcohol abuse. Just ask William M. Bowen, who woke up after a night of drinking with his friends inside a commercial garbage truck.
Editor’s note: I don’t know how many beers it takes to make you want to climb into the back of a garbage truck.
Fortunately, this story has a happy ending ‘ just barely. Bowen woke up and began screaming just moments before the driver was about to activate the compactor.
Bowen told police he had been drinking with buddies at a Muncie bar until about 3 a.m. Thursday. But he said he didn’t recall how he ended up inside the garbage truck. I’m not sure I want to know.
Let this be a lesson to all you kids out there. If you drink too much, you could very well get crushed to death in a garbage truck. That’s not so glamorous now is it.