Non-stories key part of Super Bowl
To this football fan, the week leading up to the Super Bowl isn’t just about the game.
Instead, it’s watching the print and electronic media in their never-ending search for the absolutely least important stories they can find.
This year is no exception. While yes, I’ll admit, the contest doesn’t have quite the bare-knuckle brawl appeal of some past matchups (the Patriots are 12-point favorites as of Thursday), surely there are some relevant things to report about.
But in a media circus like the one created by the Super Bowl, sports writers are always looking for that unique angle that no one else is using. Check out these gems from the past few days, and remember these are actual stories professional journalists were paid ‘ big bucks ‘ to write:
‘ Celebrity predictions: Jason Biggs, the 29-year-old star of ‘American Pie,’ showed up at a charity golf event decked out in full New York Giants regalia, and predicted his team would defeat the Patriots Sunday.
On the other hand, actress Gabrielle Union was also at the event, and said she is going with the favored Patriots.
I know what you’re thinking, and I don’t know who Gabrielle Union is, either. But the better question is, why do we care who they think will win the Super Bowl?
Last time I saw Jason Biggs, he was wearing a freshly cooked pastry, and nothing else. He’s not my first source for NFL analysis. He’s not even my 50th choice. I’ll ask my dog, Daisy, before I’d ask him.
By the way, Daisy likes the Pats by at least two touchdowns.
‘ Health risks?: This from the Associated Press science reporter.
Yes, I said ‘science reporter.’ The following three paragraphs are quoted straight from his story, which ran on the wire Thursday:
‘For rabid fans of the New York Giants and New England Patriots, this Sunday’s Super Bowl won’t be just a game. It may be a health hazard.
‘Heart attacks and other cardiac emergencies doubled in Munich, Germany, when that nation’s soccer team played in World Cup matches, a new study reports.
‘While history suggests European soccer fans can get a bit more worked up than the average American football fan, doctors think there are some valid warnings to be shared.’
I’m no doctor, but I am an American, and I’ll bet you good money that if the average U.S. football fan has a heart attack during Sunday’s game, it’ll be because of the plate full of Buffalo wings they just scarfed down in between cigarettes and cool adult beverages. It won’t be because Moss made a heck of a catch, or a referee blew a holding call.
On the other hand, Dale says he has to take an extra nitro pill on Super Bowl Sunday, but that’s only because he gets so worked up over the commercials.
‘ Party stories: For some reason, someone each year has to pen a story about Super Bowl parties (I know because one year it was me). This year one piece I read was telling us which types of personalities will ruin our football fiestas, such as ‘girls who cheer too hard’ and ‘guys who haven’t paid attention to the NFL in a decade.’
You know what type of person would ruin my Super Bowl party? The type of person who would read that article, or any of these other fluff pieces, then describe them to me while I’m trying to watch the game.
Oh, you say Jason Biggs loves the Giants, does he? That’s great. Now go get me another piece of pie and some of those chicken wings.