All people have secrets to hide

Face it, you really don?t know people. Sure, you may run with them, hang out, swap jokes and consider them your close friend, but everyone has their secret side.

I have a secret side. You have a secret side. We all have a secret side. Not that it?s bad to have a secret side. Sometimes there?s just things that aren?t anyone?s business but your own. Other times there are things that are just embarrassing you want to keep hidden.

Face it, most of us want to put our best face on when we?re seen in public. None of us are quick to admit our faults, our embarrassing oddities, or our sins. Instead, we give the public this version of the person we want to be, the seemingly happy and perfect, the normal, or in this area, the All-American guy or girl.

In fact, we all have our faults, our shortcomings, our skeletons in the closet so to speak. If you think you don?t, look a little closer, because those skeletons are in there. These skeletons don?t make us bad people, they just make us human. It?s society which makes us put on the happy face when we emerge in public. It?s unacceptable to bring all your worries, misdeeds and concerns into the public and put them on other people because people have enough of their own already.

This is why we?re surprised when people do things we see as out of character, such as the alleged murder involving the Winklers. There has rarely been a case when folks have said they saw something like this coming. Normally, it?s just like this, with people, even the closest friends of the perpetrator and/or victim, being stunned. I guess we all like to believe people trust us enough as friends to allow us inside their most secret selves, but this is rarely the case.

As humans, we really don?t know what we are capable of in any given situation. I?m sure folks who have committed heinous crimes in the past may have laughed at you just months earlier had you told them they would go down in infamy. Situations and unforeseen issues can arise which change people, making them do things they would have never imagined themselves being capable of doing.

I don?t think most people wake up killers one day. I don?t buy sudden insanity, unless it?s during a situation which is so overwhelming that the person, as they used to say, ?sees red? when confronted and just goes off. Instead, I think it is a sequence of events and issues which change the person from a non-violent person to a person capable of murder.

And no, I have no idea about what happened in the Winkler case. There?s just too many unanswered questions for anyone to make an informed opinion about what happened and what caused it. Instead, talking to people about this case got me thinking about how people are not what they appear or how things and situations can change them over time.

It?s my firm opinion no one is immune. Even someone living at the foot of the cross today can find themselves in a situation they could have never imagined tomorrow if they?re not careful and vigilant.

Folks, I don?t judge because I don?t know. I don?t care if we?re kissing cousins. When it comes down to it, I don?t know you and you don?t know me and to profess you know a person other than yourself intimately is foolhardy.

My best advise is focus on yourself and make sure you know who you really are before you start worrying about understanding others.

Duane Sherrill is a reporter for the Standard. He can be reached at 473-2191 or by e-mail at [email protected].