Now Hear This: If you don’t feel old, just wait
South Columbus High’s Marching Stallions perform during the Yam Festival’s Stallion Classic. Look for more competition photos in the print edition and e-edition today. (CharlieJ photo)
South Columbus High’s Marching Stallions perform during the Yam Festival’s Stallion Classic. Look for more competition photos in the print edition and e-edition today. (CharlieJ photo)
Remember, it was just a short time ago that fact today was fiction then. The fact is, a few years ago, I would not be writing this column on my home computer. As a matter of fact, my old typewriter (I miss like an old friend) is considered just a piece of “fiction” by youngsters today. Most have never seen one (can you believe that), and that’s a fact.
The typewriter, I’m afraid, (pardon me Margaret Mitchell) has Gone With The Wind.
Just in case you weren’t feeling too old today ? who remembers:
Whitewalls. AM radio only. When people dressed up (not down) for church. Gas stations with attendants. Lug wrenches. McDonalds, without the arches (just kidding). Leisure suits for guys (I think I’m getting sick). Black and white TV.
We existed without fad diets. When it was OK to eat all the greasy and fried foods you wanted, and didn’t know you were supposed to feel guilty. When the only people who exercised were athletes, and Jack Lalane. We breathed fresh air. Water was free. Airplanes had propellers. Lawnmowers you pushed. Dolly Parton wasn’t a blonde. When the Ponderosa was a ranch, not a restaurant. When the Colts beat the Giants for the championship in 1958. “Howdy-Doody” on Saturday morning.
Feeling old yet?
When women didn’t wear boots, and other masculine footwear. When the movie “Love Story” was No. 1 at the box office, and who the stars were. Where you were the moment you heard Elvis had died, and the Beatles had landed. What a church key was used for. When Mama stayed home and daddy worked. When you called an office, and talked to a real person, and not a technological manufactured voice telling you to dial the first three letters of the person’s last name ? or is it the first name?
And, finally:
When there were just three channels on your television, and no ESPN.
If you’re still not feeling too old this is sure to put you in your place.
Each year the staff at Beloit College in Wisconsin puts together a list to try and give the faculty a sense of the mindset of the incoming freshmen. The youngsters who started college this fall were born in 1984.
They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up.
There has been only one Pope.
Tianamen Square means nothing to them.
Bottle caps have always been screw off, and plastic.
Atari predates them, as do vinyl albums.
The expression, “You sound like a broken record,” means nothing to them.
They never heard, “Where’s the beef?”
They do not care who shot J.R. and have no idea who J.R. is.
The Titanic was found? They thought we always knew where it was.
Kansas, Chicago, Boston, and Alabama are places, not groups.
They don’t know what a cloth baby diaper is.
Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show.
Popcorn has always been cooked in the microwave.
There has always been MTV.
They have never seen Larry Bird play basketball.
And, now ? unless you have other plans ? have a nice day!
(Hope Hines is a television sports reporter and Nashville personality.)